The First Missions
by BonesBird
Summary: Starfleet brings together it's most promising officers to create the first deep space exploration ship, and introducing two of Starfleet's finest to their future.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: The First Missions  
Summary: Starfleet brings together it's most promising officers to create the first deep space exploration ship, and introducing two of Starfleet's finest to their future.**

**So, this is my newest story, and is another Jon/Erika story. It's partly set through canon, but there are plenty of major headcanons in here. Hope you like it! Shin xx**

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_**June 2140**_

The backdrop behind the reporter was quite a stunning view, it didn't matter to him that it was just a building. It was a glimpse of the future. A future he hoped he'd be able to shape in the ways he'd always dreamed of when he'd been a child. The day was huge for the entire planet, it was a massive step forward, but not only that, it was the day they finally defied the Vulcans, who still wanted them to wait a few years before conducting their warp tests. He was grabbing some cereal as the reporter began speaking, her words sending a quick shiver of panic, worry and apprehension down his spine. "_Today, the latest development of the Warp Five Project is founded in San Francisco. 4 of the best pilots currently employed by UESPA's Starfleet, along with 2 medical personnel and a communications specialist will be arriving at the newly christened NX-Project base here in the grounds of Starfleet command. Under the command of Captain Forrest..._" He'd heard enough, and was worried for a moment that she might name the Lieutenants that command had chosen. They had picked relatively low ranked officers, in the hopes that they would grow into the roles they were thrust into. His cousin was still avidly watching the report that Jon was actively blocking out of his mind, trying to pretend that they were talking about something else. Pride and terror were apparently arguing for supremacy in his mind.

"Turn that off will you, I'm nervous enough." He snapped when it finally got too much, Ryan looked to him and shook his head a little, a smirk climbing up the younger Archer's face, as he clearly sensed a chance to tease his cousin, Jon just shook his head, and clearly Ryan thought better of adding to his worries, instead he took on a surprisingly neutral tone and held out the newspaper.

"You, nervous Jon?"

Jon gave Ryan a confused look, wondering if Ryan even had any idea what it was actually meaning for today. That it wasn't only huge for him, but for the entire planet, Though he was sure it would be barely a footnote in history, if the programme was a success. "It happens, this is a big day, we can start building and designing ships that could break the higher warp barriers. Warp 1.5 isn't going to cut it for exploration."

Ryan nodded and the look on his face reminded Jonathan that it was something he'd said a million times before. Sometimes he repeated himself when it came to the things he was passionate about, it just so happened that space travel was one of those things. After a minute Ryan continued, another far more thoughtful look on his face. "I know, not to mention it's uncle Henry's engine that will be the basis."

"Yeah, dad's engine." He muttered with a smile, then went back to focusing on the cereal, and making sure he didn't get it on his new flight suit. He watched Ryan stand up and take the two now empty dishes to the kitchen before shouting through.

"You'd best go or you'll be late. I have classes tonight, don't lock me out."

Jon shook his head, he'd only locked Ryan out once, and that had been a year earlier, and he had been drunk at the time. Something that apparently Ryan had taken it upon himself to ensure that Jon would never forget. "I'll see you later. If you see uncle Thomas today, tell him he owes me a beer." He had bet his uncle about the programme making the morning news, it had been on, so Jon had won. Something that would no doubt lead to much family teasing for his uncle for a while. Thomas Archer hated losing bets, even to his nephew.

Jon heard Ryan's sarcastic sigh through the doorway as he grabbed his bag full of keepsakes he'd brought from the previous test centre, ready to go in his new locker at the new programme. Ryan came to the kitchen doorway just in time for Jon to make it to the front door. "Will do. Good luck Lieutenant!"

He groaned, and flipped a rather unsavoury gesture toward the kitchen doorway. He tried to ignore his nerves as he walked through the city. Smiling and nodding hellos to the people who passed him, much like he did every time he came out, and in this area of San Francisco, it wasn't entirely unusual to see the blue jumpsuit of Starfleet officers and the separate UESPA engineers. He bounded through the doors and into the purpose built hanger, grinning as he saw the small group of people gathered around the room, they hadn't been due for another 15 minutes, and it seemed clear that the other two lieutenants hadn't been there all that long,

"Lieutenant Archer, you're early." Captain Forrest smiled and held a hand out, one that Jon took happily, having worked with Forrest for the last couple of years, the two already had a working relationship, and Jon knew it worked, more to the point, so did Starfleet.

"Yes sir." He nodded, and smiled, allowing Forrest to make the introductions.

"You weren't the first to arrive though, Lieutenant Duvall is a pilot and Lieutenant Hernandez is our communications specialist." He looked over the two, and felt immediately that he was going to like the woman far more. Duvall was tall, well built, and had a touch of superiority about him, while Hernandez was small and compact, and her shy smile put her on the opposite end of the spectrum to Duvall.

"Rob." Duvall held his hand out, his grip could probably crush diamonds. Jon tried not to wince a little as he turned back to Hernandez, holding his hand in her direction.

"Erika." She smiled a little more confidently, and he felt the strength in her grip, while she might have seemed a little shy at first, he was sure she was going to be a handful when she was more familiar with them all.

"Jonathan. Where were you stationed last?" He knew that small talk like this was an important gauge on a first meeting.

"I was flying on the Intrepid, good little ship."

"I was on the _Lovell_, junior comms. What about you?"

"I've been one of the test pilots out of command since I qualified."

"No actual time out on a ship?" Duvall asked, looking a little shocked that Jon had made it on to the programme while not piloting a ship regularly. Jon resisted his urge to point out that Duvall would have been a junior pilot at best. It wasn't worth starting the rivalry before they even had a ship designed to fight about.

"A fair amount, but studying how to make things work better."

"Seems about right." He said before following the direction that Forrest had left in a few minutes earlier. He watched the other pilot leave, and tried not to smirk.

"He's great at making friends isn't he?" He suddenly heard from his side, and he looked down to Erika, shaking his head a little at the dry delivery while simultaneously fighting the urge to burst out laughing.

"Apparently not, Erika, right?"

"Yeah, So you're a test pilot, Jon?" She asked.

"Jon. A good one, I've been on the test programmes as long as Starfleet's existed. Alongside flight school." He smiled and wondered what her story was. Everyone he knew had signed up for a love of space, but he thought maybe there would be more to her story, she didn't seem like the typical officer he met, he hadn't met many comms officers though.

She took a deep breath, and he wondered if maybe it was a painful or difficult story for her to try and tell. "I signed up the year it was chartered, mostly to be put through college. My family weren't exactly thrilled at the idea of me signing up for a science course."

"So you've been signed up since '33?"

"You?"

"Yep, I never saw you around the flight school?" He would have noticed her around, he was sure he would have done.

"I showed an aptitude for communications, so they put me straight into language schools."

That piqued his interest. He had always known that was how the comms specialists were picked, but languages had always gone over his head, and he was a little jealous of those who were bilingual. "How many languages do you speak?"

"At last count, 19. I'm working on number 20 though, I have a thing about learning dead languages and dialects. I'm working on Cornish now, so I'll speak every language that originated in Britain."

"Wow." That was more than he'd been expecting. 20 separate languages. Would she even ever need them all. "You should try teaching me the easiest one, one day." He asked, and belatedly realised he might have been flirting, just a little. Not that he was really sorry about it, and her grin told her she noticed his rather inexpert flirting around the same time she did.

Her grin just grew as she placed a hand on his arm and chuckled before agreeing. "Absolutely. I'm a bit of a slave driver when teaching though." She teased him back.

Before he could reply the sound of the others approaching reminded him where they were and that they needed to remain professional. "Here they are, hiding away in the corner, come and meet the rest of the team. You'll all be spending a lot of time together." He rejoined the conversation around him, but kept his eyes on Erika. '_Well. This is damned inconvenient._' He thought to himself, trying to shake off what had happened and focus on the briefing.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for the lovely comments on the first chapter, and I'm glad I've gotten you interested. I should say that there are 35 chapters to this story, and it goes right up to Jon being awarded Enterprise (a ten year journey)**

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**_July 21st, 2140._  
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The hanger broke out into applause again as the pilots emerged from the testing simulator. They high fived each other before joining the command team, arriving at the same time as Captain Forrest. The first three weeks of the project had been much the same, testing out which piloting pairs and command pairs worked best. She was glad in her way that she always knew where she was going to be, and while she longed to get out into deep space, being a test pilot had never been an idea for her. She was far happier being the comms officer and spending her time giving commands in the centre. Forrest shook the hands of all those gathered around before speaking, obviously proud of what his handpicked team were already establishing."Great test. Broke the 1.5 barrier again." He beamed, and they all smiled back, it didn't surprise her that the openly hostile competition between the pilots once again slid her in the middle. Robinson's gaze fell between her and Jonathan, and immediately she knew what was coming, and as always she was going to have to play peacekeeper.

"Thanks for the clear orders, Erika." Came exactly as she'd known it would, and she fought the urge to roll her eyes. While they were all Lieutenants, she was by far the youngest member of the team, and she had been reminded on a few occasions that sarcasm wasn't always the answer.

She knew what would be the answer, and that would be to remind them all that she wasn't the one in charge when they were in the centre."I just pass them through to you boys, the real credit goes to Jonathan."

Jonathan grinned and gave her shoulder a gently friendly push, as if he was telling her to stop being modest. He was definitely the one she had gotten to know the most since the beginning of the project, and their initial awkward flirting had led to them working together more often than not, and now they were the ones seemingly chosen to command the missions. "Hey, we're a team, I'm sure it works as well whoever's in the command centre, Erika keeps us all in order." He grinned in her direction, and as soon as the chuckling subsided Forrest looked around and set about giving them their orders for the next week.

"Someone has too. Teams are again up on the board, Robinson and Duvall will be in the simulator, Archer running the command centre. Dismissed." Everyone dispersed, and she headed toward her locker, unsurprised to hear a familiar gait walking behind her and settling himself on the unused locker that was next to hers.

She could tell from his stance that something was bothering him, she looked around the door at him, knowing he'd need to be prompted into divulging what his problem was. "You look like someone kicked your puppy, what is it?"

"I feel like I'm always in the centre." He complained, and she let out a wry smile, she'd known that was going to be his complaint.

She already knew for certain what her response would be. The exact same as it had been a week earlier, when he'd first complained about how many command hours he was logging. "Because you know what you're doing. You're the only one getting the command experience." She had to say that, personally, she wasn't a fan of either Duvall or Gardner's command styles, and Robinson had yet to make it to the command centre with her, so she didn't know his. The most important thing about logging the command time would be if and when the project hit fruition, and the first ships were ready to go. "When it comes to who commands the first ship, these hours will matter." She reminded him, and he turned round, banging his head against the locker a few times before turning back to her.

"I know, but I want to be one of the pilots."

She stopped and thought a minute before offering something she hadn't ever thought she would, even though she had few plans on a Friday night, she normally appreciated being able to have a glass of wine in her pyjamas. "I'll stop late tonight if you want to log a couple of hours." She nodded toward the simulator with a smile. If he wanted to get piloting hours, that was how he'd have to do it anyway. Out of the pilots, he was the one she was most likely to grant these little favours too.

He studied her a minute as she swapped her Starfleet issue boots for a pair of more comfortable shoes, then a confused look crossed his face. "It's a Friday night?"

"I've got nothing better to do." She admitted honestly, and wondered what he'd make of that statement, unsure if she told him that because he needed to know, or because she just hated pretending that her life was more interesting that it was.

"Really?"

"I don't know many people here, I was up on _Lovell_ for the last 3 years, and everyone else I knew from language school will be busy with family." She smiled, and looked over his shoulders to where Forrest was approaching them, two padds in his hands, and she wondered what he could possibly be handing them.

"Nice job you two." He smiled as he walked over, it was obvious that he liked what they were doing in the Command centre from how silent he was, when the others had been in Forrest had to intervene at least once, but he hadn't had to with Jonathan. "You've built up a good rapport, Hernandez you can preempt his orders. That's why we're putting the two of you together in the command centre. It's always good to see teams building like that." Erika had to admit, she took more liberties with Jonathan than she did with the others, but whenever she gave an order, he'd look and nod, proving that they were on a similar wavelength with what they needed to do. If it was impressing the Captain, maybe it would impress others too.

Jonathan smiled, but it was quite clear that his thoughts were going in a different direction, and it was obvious that he wanted to ask when he'd get his chance to prove his skills in the simulator. "Sir, I'm here to be a pilot?"

"Rotations start a week on Monday, you'll have your month in the simulator. The first prototype will be delivered soon, need to decide who will be doing the shakedowns. Right now though, I'm more inclined to have the two of you in the command centre. Here, you both need to look over the plans." She accepted the plans, as did Jonathan, and they bother muttered their thanks before he walked away. She turned back as Jonathan starting banging his head against the lockers again. She put her hand on his shoulder, causing him to stop.

"He's doing all he can Jon." She muttered, and his eyes snapped to meet hers before he let out a small sigh of defeat.

"I know." He paused and smiled at her, the last few weeks of being the command pair of choice was clearly beginning to annoy Jonathan more than he let on. Erika was obviously going to be in the command centre, but he'd been hoping for more simulator time, and she wasn't offended by that. She actually didn't blame him. "So, what are you planning to do tonight?" He asked, and she thought for a minute before deciding on just being honest.

"Take out for dinner, maybe watch a movie on the commnet."

"Anything good showing?" He grinned, and she was fairly sure that their ideas of 'good' were likely to be different. She had a passion for really truly terrible films. The worse the better.

"'Raiders of the Lost Ark' tonight, I think." She recalled from somewhere in the back of her mind, whether that was right or not she didn't have a clue, but it was a good guess regardless. Jonathan got a cheeky grin on his face, and she wondered what had popped up into his mind. "What are you planning, Archer?" She groaned, wondering if he was going to get them into trouble, because he knew by now that pretty much whatever he was planning, she'd help him.

His grin just solidified. "Well, we have the plans for the prototype, and you have a fair engineering mind too, why don't we take them with us, go out for dinner, then back somewhere to watch the movie." She felt a little foolish for assuming he'd have a bad plan, but she also knew that he liked teasing her as much as he could, which was likely where the mischievous grin had come into play this time. It actually sounded like a nice idea, and dinner out would save on dish washing, the chore she hated doing most.

"That sounds like a plan. Let me lock up." She indicated the command centre, and smiled at his nod, at least she was in for an interesting night, if nothing else.


	3. Chapter 3

_**October 13th, 2140**_

She came around the bar to see what the rest of the patrons of the bar were watching this Friday night, and the last thing she had expected had been to see two of the pilots knocking each other about the front of her. The waitress who had become friendly with the team over the last three months came up alongside her, clearly wondering what had started this overly demonstrative display of machismo. "Do you even know what kicked this off?" Ruby asked, elbowing one of the other officers.

"I've not got a clue." She said in Ruby's direction before shouting after Jon and Sam, she figured, unable to think of anything else to do. They were both a fair bit bigger than her. "Hey. Knock it off!"

"Lieutenant?" Ruby asked again, and all Erika could do was look back toward the redhead and shake her head.

"Believe me Ruby I've no more control over them than you do."

"Hey. Knock it off. Will you help" Ruby yelled in the direction of the other officers and pilots who all rushed forward, pulling the two battling officers off of one another, it was clear that they were about ready to go back at each other, should anyone let go. Erika knew that now was the time for her command experience to come in.

"I don't know what you two think you're doing, but how is this going to change anything for either of you?" She asked, and both stopped fighting with the officers holding them, their shoulders slumping as she called them out in front of everyone in the bar. "I get you don't get along and that's fine but leave your pissing match alone and be sensible when you're out in public, or don't associate with each other." She continued scolding, feeling like an old fashioned schoolteacher, scolding a pair of misbehaving children.

"Sorry Erika." Jon mumbled, looking at her feet rather than her face, she looked between him and Sam, wondering if they'd apologise to each other, but maybe that was hoping for too much.

"Yeah, sorry Erika." Sam muttered a moment or so later.

"AG, take Sam home, Jon, come on." She motioned to the obviously slightly out of it pilot before turning back to Ruby who was already clearly making plans for the clean-up she was going to have to do. "Sorry about this, send me the bill and I'll get the money out of these two when they are sober."

Ruby nodded, looking between the group of pilots who were striding toward the door, then she frowned in Erika's direction making it clear that she trusted the Comm officer, but not so much the pilots. "Don't let them do this again, Erika. I'll have to ban next time."

"I understand." Erika agreed, giving Jon a gentle shove in the direction of the street. She made the split second decision to walk back to her place, which was at least on this side of the city, while Jonathan's would require a far longer walk, and she hoped that the cool air would sober him up enough for her to get him to tell her what had happened. A few minutes later she pushed her door open and motioned him through.

"I'm sorry." He said again, this time far clearer than it had been back at the bar, and apparently her plan for walking him had been at least partially successful. He was less bleary, and clearly all but sober now. She filled a bowl with water and grabbed a cloth out of the cupboard, stepping in front of him and dipping the cloth in the cold water, beginning to clean the cuts on the side of his face.

"What did you think you were playing at huh?" She asked quietly, moving forward a little to see the wounds better in the light. She ignored his slight gasp of pain, knowing that was probably more a reaction to the cold water than to anything else.

"He was wrong."

"Was attacking him really necessary?" She questioned, having found out from AG that he'd thrown the first punch. She'd never thought he would do something quite so ridiculous. Apparently today was the day for people proving to her that they could surprise her. All she wanted to know is what had riled Jon up so much, especially in public.

Jon shook his head as she went to dip the cloth again. "E, I didn't know what else to do. I threw the first punch and that was stupid of me." He dropped his head.

"You're right it was, you're lucky Ruby didn't bar you."

"I know. Ouch." He grimaced again, and she noticed the blood still welling, clearly that cut hadn't quite healed in the walk home. She felt a little bad that it had hurt, but in a way he deserved it.

"Sorry, but I need to clean these cuts." She muttered, and noticed his eyes sweeping the apartment around her.

"Where are we?"

She pulled a face, looking at him then grabbing his chin to turn his face back where she needed it to be so she could continue cleaning his face. "My apartment, it was closer than yours, and you need to be asleep sooner rather than later."

"Thank you." he muttered, clearly beginning to feel stupid for his actions back at the club. She looked at him this time, not letting him avoid her eyes. She worried about him, and his position in the programme if Sam complained. It wouldn't look good for him.

"You didn't even drink that much, Jon. This wasn't some random drunken brawl, what happened while I was in the bathroom?"

"I just didn't like the way he was talking." His face contorted into an angry expression for a moment, and she wondered what exactly had been said, though she was certain she would never be told the exact details.

"About?"

"You." He muttered, and she wasn't sure exactly what he was saying.

"Me?"

"Yes. I didn't like what he was saying, what he was implying."

"Well, that was chivalrous of you. Chivalrous, but stupid. I can hold my own Jonathan, you know that. I've spent enough time arguing with you." She laughed a little, she hadn't ever been sure where the 'gentleman' part of the saying 'An officer and a gentleman' had come in until she met Jonathan. He'd always go out of his way to stop the mistreatment of people, and it was quite an endearing quality. She looked up to him, and caught his eyes. She'd never really spent the time to appreciate his eyes before.

"That doesn't mean I'm going to let Sam or AG or the others get away with saying that stuff." He put his hand over hers and took the cloth from her, putting it on the table.

"Jonathan-" She whispered, but she couldn't help reacting to the way he was looking at her. As he pulled her closer she wondered if her willingness was to do with what she'd drunk, or the fact that she had been attracted to him since they'd met. His hand slid along her cheek and into her hair as he pulled her to him. The moment their lips met her argument with herself seemed to fly out of the window, her arms found their way around his neck as he pulled her even closer, flattening her against his chest. His hand tangling in her hair as the other slid to the small of her back, moulding her against him as he deepened the kiss. She sighed then seemed to come back to herself and realised what she was doing. What they were doing, and it was something that she probably shouldn't let continue.

The last thing she wanted to do was break this, but she knew that this wasn't what they should have been doing, they were friends and colleagues, they were the command team, and she couldn't let this go on. She enjoyed the kiss a second longer before she pulled back a little.

"E?" He asked, his arms still wrapped around her as she stepped away just a little. As she looked at him she suddenly wanted to jump back into his arms, but she had more self-control than that.

"We shouldn't Jon. This is just because we've both drunk a lot tonight. Let's go to sleep."

"I'm sorry." His face fell, studying her for a second. It was clear he thought she regretted that kiss.

"Don't be, I'm not." She doubted she would ever be sorry for that, even if nothing came of it, she now knew that at least their feelings were mutual. She blinked away the urge to step forward again, and instead turned to the cupboard where she kept the spare blankets, passing one to him.

"Erika, I know there is too much for us to act on what we feel, what we could feel, but at least tell me that the feeling is mutual?"

"I thought I'd already made that clear, Jon." She smiled, this time she did move forward, placing a small peck on his cheek before retreating again. She waved to him from the doorway to the bedroom. Climbing into bed, alone again, she wished for a moment that she hadn't stopped where things were going, if only so she wouldn't have spent the night alone.


	4. Chapter 4

_**January 2141**_

The conference room was full to the rafters, and he hadn't felt quite so nervous about making a speech in his life, the fact that Sam Gardner was the other pilot picked to present the NX prototype, design by the pilots and engineers, though he had taken the initial speech that had been recommended and added a line about Erika's involvement, it seemed that even the brass forgot about the comm officer. He had been determined that her contribution wouldn't be forgotten. As Forrest stepped forward from the dias and motioned to the front row where the NX team were sitting, he began to panic. Erika quietly took his hand and squeezed in a show of friendly support at Forrest spoke, "Lieutenant Archer, Lieutenant Gardner, you are the ones making this presentation."

They both stood up, and he smiled at Erika, grateful for a second that he had her support. "Thank you, Commodore." He said as Forrest passed them, making his way for the seat beside Erika that Jon had just vacated.

He didn't remember giving the speech, or helping Sam point out the various design elements, he remembered that it seemed to go well, seeing as everyone had spent the afternoon congratulating him. Now though he was trying, desperately, to forget that he had no reason to go home yet. He had work to do on the new cockpit design for the prototype, and while the hangar was empty he'd hope he could get as much done as possible on it. That was until he heard a familiar footfall. She would be the only other person in the building this late, she never seemed to leave until after everyone else unless they were going on a group night out.

Over the last 6 months he'd gotten to know her pretty well, maybe a little too well when it came to the ill-advised make out session they'd had a few months earlier, something they had both pushed to the back of their mind, though sometimes it popped up in his at the least opportune moments, like right now. He tried to clear his mind as she appeared in his doorway, a smile on her face as it always was when she actually found him still in the office and had to usher him out.

"Do you ever leave?" He muttered, clearly loud enough for her to hear judging by the smirk on her face.

"What are you doing here Jon?" She asked, and he could tell she was just ignoring his question and coming around his desk leaning over his shoulder.

"Working on the cockpit designs, There is so much that we can do to improve the current design. I just don't like the layout." He looked to the side and saw her studying the design, he wondered what her input would be on the originals, and then maybe he could show her his design, the one he hadn't shown anyone yet.

She began to scowl at the original blueprints, and it was pretty obvious that she wasn't impressed. "It is a little counter intuitive, I'm just a comm officer, but wouldn't it make more sense to have the thruster controls near the impulse drive?" He looked to where her finger pointer, at an issue he hadn't even noticed before, but she was absolutely right, the two control systems would do much better when displayed together.

"It would, I hadn't even noticed that, you should stay and help me." He grinned, looking at her sideways as she looked to him with a laugh before shaking her head.

"What are you even doing here?" She asked, and he shook his head, not really wanting to be honest about why he was there, she didn't need to know.

"I wanted to work on these designs." He tried to make the point, as if he hadn't had enough time over the last week.

"Its a Friday night, in the last 6 months I've not seen you stay this late. You've always had somewhere to be, some girl to shack up with for the weekend?" She teased, and he felt he face fall, hers very quickly following it. He didn't want to make her feel bad, she had just been teasing him, like they all did.

"We broke up." He muttered, and he saw the confusion on her face, and he found himself wishing that she hadn't asked him, or that he hadn't been honest about it. "Mala and I, we broke up." He clarified, wanting to make sure she knew what he meant, not that it was a secret he'd met someone, they hadn't been together long enough for her to meet anyone on the project.

"You hadn't been seeing her long though?" Erika asked, and he could sense just a hint of jealousy in her voice, it was probably the same tone he'd have if she was seeing someone though. He had met Mala just after Erika had shot him down, and she had been the opposite, which was pretty much exactly why he'd gone for her. Mala figured it out, and ending things had been the best course of action. "You still shouldn't throw yourself into work, it's not always the healthiest thing to do." She pulled at his arm, trying to get him stood up, and he grabbed the design padds as she succeeded, and he followed her out of the room.

"I want to get the designs finished." He complained, but only halfheartedly as Erika hit all the lights as she still pushed him with one hand.

"Well, I'm locking up. You don't have to go home but you can't stay here." He turned round to see the grin on her face as she finally got him out of the main door so she could lock up. "I always wanted to say that."

"Erika..." He complained, but it was quite clear that she wasn't going to let him get away with anything, including hiding away to get over his break-up. He tried giving her a puppy look, but wasn't entirely sure that he pulled it off.

That was confirmed a second later when she put her hands on her hips and fixed him with a withering look. "It's not going to work Jon. Come on, I'm planning to get take out from Foos and watch the boats on the water for a while, why don't you join me?" He looked at her as she invited him to join her for take-out. He thought about it, and there was no reason he shouldn't join her.

"I think I can do that. Are you sure? I'm not interrupting any of your best laid plans, am I?" He asked, never really sure what she did on weekends when they weren't with the project.

"Not tonight, I do this every Friday when the entire team doesn't go out, it's refreshing and it reminds me a little of home."

"I didn't think they had bays out in New Mexico." He laughed, wondering how that worked, and he was glad that she started giving him a similar grin in return.

"They don't, but I used to get take-out and watch the stars out in the desert back home. It's too bright in the city to stargaze, so watching the boats on the river is the closest I get. It would be nice to have some company." She explained, and he realised that she really did want him to join her, on something that was obviously a private tradition.

"Well, you can count me in then." He smiled, and followed her out, at least he wouldn't be alone thinking about his problems.


	5. Chapter 5

_**June 2141**_

She handed her companion a second bottle of beer and sat back next to him, her eyes scanning the street in front of her. She had found herself a nice little place to live when she'd bought this apartment a year earlier. "This is nice." Jon said, his eyes clearly meaning the situation alongside her street. Wednesday's were rarely days where they could do this.

"I have to agree, it's not often we get a weekday afternoon off." She agreed, not entirely sure why they'd been given the day off, she wondered if the Admiral's were showing the Vulcans' round again, that was generally why they were told they could take the day, until the prototype arrived there was little to really show the Vulcans that hadn't already been shown.

Jon chuckled, shaking his head as he did. Indicating the padds that were abandoned in the bag in front of him. The design specs they'd been asked to go over. Conveniently forgotten in favour of talking and beer. "No, we're normally slaving over some plans. I wonder why they decided the NX teams deserved today off?"

"Maybe because most of us haven't taken any leave in a year." She said pointedly, the only one who had actually taken leave had been Williams, who Jon had a rather fierce rivalry with that had started on the first day of the project, the two had even come to blows several months earlier. A day she didn't necessarily want to think about, as it led to a blush crawling up her cheeks that she couldn't control.

"Yeah, it's been a year. Hard to believe." He looked up to the sky, where the faint outline of Utopia Planitia shipyards were visible, even during the height of daylight hours, so massive was the structure in geosynchronous orbit above Starfleet's capital city.

She took the moment to study the man by her side. There was so much about him she didn't know, despite the fact she classed him as one of her very best friends, and one of the only people she had let in past the surface. While she knew that he would probably answer anything she asked, she still felt awkward at times. Today seemed like the perfect day to work on getting to know him better, and maybe trying to work on and even closer level with him. " Jon, I've been meaning to ask you something?"

"Yeah?" He replied, her voice clearly bringing him back from whatever planet he'd mentally been settled on.

She grasped her bottle a little tighter even as she turned to face him a little clearer. "What brought you to Starfleet?"

He shrugged, and it was clear at first that he wasn't entirely sure how to answer her, or maybe he was reminding himself that she was a friend. He had always kept his walls high, and she was only just beginning to peer over the top of them. "The same as you, I'd guess." He sighed, and again she wondered if the enquiry was more personal than he'd expected, but he didn't stop, instead it became clear he was still thinking on his answer. "I wanted to explore. I wanted to make the universe a better place, and discover where humanity's place was." He smiled, and it was almost too hard for her not to smile too. "My dad always wanted me to be an explorer, always. When I was a kid that's what we'd talk about. It was something he spoke about a lot before he died." He took on a relatively pensive look, she placed her hand on his knee in a supportive gesture.

"I heard about that, Clarke's disease wasn't it?" She remembered hearing once at the project, she'd never been great at warp design, so she hadn't known that the designer of the engine they were building was Jon's father until she'd been told.

"Yeah. I was 12. So, I signed up to Starfleet for him, even though he died before Starfleet was chartered. Why did you sign up?" He asked, looking in her direction, and now it was her time to think, she knew why she joined Starfleet, but it sounded so crass and mechanical after his beautiful description.

She shrugged a little, as his eyes followed her, and she thought of how to word her answer. "I wanted to go to college, I couldn't afford it without signing up with either Starfleet or the MACOs. Science was my love, so Starfleet seemed the better fit." She smiled as she remembered something her father had told her in the weeks after her acceptance. "It wasn't until I'd signed up that my dad told me I used to talk about visiting all of the stars in the sky when I was a kid." She laughed again as they both lapsed into silence, just drinking their bottles and occasionally waving to Erika's neighbours.

After a while she felt Jon turn toward her again, and after a few minutes she could tell he was wondering something, almost hearing the cogs turning in his mind. "Erika?" He muttered, and it was obvious that he was thinking.

"Yeah?"

"Why do you even put up with the pilots." She gave him a questioning look, wondering what on Earth he could mean by that. It wasn't as if she could get up and leave. Her job was to put up with them. Unless he meant socially. "We're not exactly nice to you all the time."

"You're always nice to me." She shook her head, still a little confused as to what he meant, and she wasn't going to answer something she didn't get.

He smiled a little before trying to expand. "I'm not just talking about me, I mean Sam and AG and-" She figured out what he mean, the jokes that went beyond jokes.

"I know, Jonathan." She smiled, trying to convince him that she was fine with it, generally. Sometimes things bugged her, but more often than not she could ignore them, and focus on the job. Though she had been given another offer, and maybe talking that idea over with him might help her make the decision. "I've actually been thinking about changing teams. There is an opening on the UT project that I've been offered."

The look on his face told her far more about that idea than his words ever would. "Are you going to take it?" He asked, and she thought that maybe her best answer would be the truth.

"I don't know, should I?"

"I don't think I'd want you to go. You're the only person on the team I've really connected with, I mean I'm friends with the others but-" He trailed off and squeezed the hand that was still resting on his knee, "you're the only one I'd sit on a stoop with drinking beer at 4pm on a Wednesday afternoon."

"Jonathan Archer, it's the way we roll." She grinned and clinked her bottle to his. The two lapsed into a companionable silence, watching the kids playing in the park across the street from her building. It was the first time she'd really focused on them, on what living here actually was. "Jon, do you ever wonder if officers like us can ever have happy families?" She wasn't sure why the question had occurred to her, but it was something she had been thinking about.

"I'm hoping to have a Ben or Kate Archer one day, regardless of where my career takes me. I want a family." He smiled and nudged her ever so slightly. "I want to have that to look forward to. People who are happy for me to come home every time I get leave. Who'll be here when I need someone to cheer me on."

She grinned, watching his face light up as he talked about a possible future family, she wasn't sure she would ever get that chance herself though. "That's a nice dream. I hope you get that one day."

"What about you?"

"I think I've all but given up on the hopes of children, maybe even a family. I don't know. I'm 25, almost 26. I haven't had a serious relationship in 7 years, there isn't anyone on the horizon, and I'm too dedicated to my career to actually search." She smiled a little, realising she'd made herself sound like a spinster, and needing to make a joke to lighten it again. "I'm also really annoying."

"I've never found you annoying."

"You're not sleeping with me." She grinned in response. Knowing what was coming.

"Not yet." He teased with a wink and she shook her head. Ever since she'd admitted while drunk that he was the only pilot on the team that she'd consider sleeping with it had become their standing joke, something that was just for the two of them to laugh about, never around anyone else, but alone they would tease each other about it. She went back to sipping her beer and imagining what her life would be like if it took a drastically different direction to the one she envisioned. She looked to Jonathan and wondered for just a moment if he was following a similar train of thought. Maybe it was something she shouldn't have brought up, because now all she could think about was how adorable any kids of Jon's would be.


	6. Chapter 6

_**October 2141**_

She came round the corner, and as was usual the last few days she looked like there was something bothering her. For now he didn't have the heart to confront her about it, but maybe it would be time, if it could get him out of going to this press call, he'd probably thank her. He looked up when her glare got too intense to ignore. He didn't say anything, just looked up at her. After a few minutes she spoke, and in her voice he could tell that she wasn't going to help him avoid the call. "What the hell are you doing?"

He held her gaze, until the fact she could go so long without blinking actually worried him a little. "Hiding." He replied honestly, knowing better than to try and lie to her, she always saw through him anyway.

"I'm not letting you hide."

He groaned and motioned in the direction of the main hangar, trying to go back to the report he'd been reading about the progress of the NX prototype that was being built in Switzerland. Why they had sent the work to Switzerland he still didn't know, but he had been assured it was for the best. He could hear the other pilot getting his promotion talking loudly, and he was happy to let AG have it. "Let AG take the glory."

Erika seemed like she was ready for that particular argument, and that it wasn't going to wash on her. "He'll take it too, that doesn't mean I'm gonna let you hide away."

"Erika-" He moaned, but she put her hands on her hips, the view of her reminding him of one of his grade school teachers who had caught him doing something he shouldn't have been.

"Jonathan Beckett Archer, I can make this so much more embarrassing for you than you'd like." She got a slight evil grin on her face, and suddenly he knew exactly what she was going to do, not that it wouldn't cause her a fair amount of embarrassment, he had learnt that she had so little shame.

"You wouldn't." He muttered, but already she was leaning out of the door.

The moment she opened her mouth he knew she'd do it, and he made the move. "Oh I would. Hey every-" He slid up next to her and put a hand over her mouth, stopping in front of her, shaking his head as he did.

"Fine, I'm coming." He said, even leading out of the door, she pulled it shut behind her and fell into step alongside him. "There are moments when I hate you, you know that right?" He said, hoping that she wasn't going to do this every time he was expected on a press call. He would more than likely refuse to do them, he just wanted to do his job with a minimum of fuss.

Erika's face split into a sadistic grin. "It's come up once or twice, yes."

"I can't believe you found out my middle name."

"And I have every intention to use it at every opportunity you give me."

"Erika, why?" He complained, already knowing that she used it for one reason, the fact that she was a sadist.

"Because I can. Look who finally came out of his office."

He mouthed an 'I hate you' in her direction, and all he got back was a bright smile and the words 'love you too'. He shook his head, but allowed himself to be swept away by the crowd of officers and press who had come out to join them on the day that the project was being focused on in the press. He posed with AG for the photographs, all the while planning ways he could torture Erika Hernandez in retaliation.

When he was finally allowed back in the building, his first intention was to hunt her down and either thank her and murder her, and depending on her reaction, he might just do both. She had seemed touchier the last few days, and he didn't know why. Maybe it was time he asked her about her mood. While she was teasing and joining in activities, she was spending more time in her office, and more time away from everyone else. He rounded the corner and saw her office door was open, he slid in, and was surprised to see her sat at the desk, a tissue in her hand.

"Erika?"

"Jon. I-" She trailed off and shook her head, turning the chair so she was hidden in shadow again. That sight had been the last thing he'd expected when he came into the room.

"Are you crying?" He asked, shutting and locking the door behind him.

"No, it's raining on my face." She deflected, and he knew there was something wrong. While she was often defensive, she rarely sounded so sad and hostile at the same time. He walked round her desk, kneeling in front of her, knowing the forcing her to look at him was going to be the key to this.

"What is it?" He tried again, leaning underneath her, she just looked away, and he took hold of the hand that was on her knee.

"It's nothing."

"I don't believe you." He muttered, and suddenly he saw the break in her wall, that one tiny crack that led to the outpouring.

Her tears started again as she began speaking. "My father's been ill, the last few days, he's been in the medical centre down in Roswell, it's the closest to where they live. They don't expect him to make it." He remembered how close she'd been to her father almost her entire life. He had been the reason she'd joined Starfleet, and he was the one who supported her in everything she had every wanted. He had joined Starfleet because his father had wanted him to be an explorer, and that was almost the exact same reason as Erika. He couldn't think why she was still there, in San Francisco, when she was clearly needed back home.

"Why the hell are you still here?"

She shook her head and pulled another tissue from her stash on her desk. "I can't just leave now Jon, I'm due to start on the UT project part-time on Monday."

He stood up and pulled her to her feet, making sure she was steady before he stepped away a little. "Erika, they can do without you. It's Friday afternoon, why don't I take you down there, we can be back for Monday morning. You need to see him." He hoped that offering to go with her would be seen as the friendly gesture he meant it to be. He knew that sometimes, going home for sad reasons was hard to face, especially when it included the death of someone close to you.

"I don't think I can, Jon." She shook her head again, and he lifted her chin so she had to meet his eyes, at least on this point he could speak from experience.

"Not seeing my father before he died is one of the biggest regrets I have, you shouldn't miss this opportunity, and I'll go with you."

"Are you sure?" She asked again, and he just shook his head, the worry might be more that he wouldn't actually have anywhere to stay if he did take her. But he was sure they could work that out one way or another.

"I'm sure your mom or someone will have somewhere I can stay?"

"Thank you, Jonathan." She whispered and threw her arms around her, he felt her tears against his neck, but he knew she needed the support of a friend right now.


	7. Chapter 7

**So, I have to bump the rating up here. One of many chapters that will make you hate me. Enjoy!**

* * *

_**January 2142**_

The group sat around their usual backroom at the 602 club, and it wasn't entirely surprising that their room was rowdier than the main bar. Celebrating the successful completion of the first NX prototype, with a second being ordered, and the group had been enjoying a few hours. AG was, as usual, leading the group, it was always between him and Jonathan for who commanded the missions, and while it seemed appropriate that they all celebrate together. She was watching the celebrations more than anything, glad that the team had something to celebrate after 18-months of setbacks. She was still just studying everyone as AG stood up once again, clearly looking in her direction. "Hey, hey, we're all celebrating the cockpit design and the prototype design, how about we toast our little moonlighter, Lieutenant Hernandez, who just had her translation matrix added to the universal translator designs."

She felt the flush rising in her face as everyone looked and raised their glass in her direction, she tried not to laugh as everyone echoed her name, "Lieutenant Hernandez," was echoed around the room and she shook her head, not quite sure she'd deserved her own toast.

"Thanks everyone, it's not quite on the same level of achievement though." She started, but she was quickly stopped by others starting talking, and Jonathan leaning over towards her.

"I don't know. I think it's pretty impressive." He muttered, taking another sip of his drink, she looked at him in disbelief as the teasing smirk climbed up his cheeks.

"Thanks Jon." She laughed and looked out of the window at the dark treetops alongside the club. "I'm thinking of leaving soon, actually. Leave the pilots to celebrate." She smiled, already beginning to gather up the few things she had with her, sliding them back into one of her pockets.

She was surprised when Jon stood up beside her and smiled to everyone else before muttering in her ear. "It's winding down here. Can I walk you home?"

She looked at him with a hint of suspicion, not sure why he'd have suddenly decided to walk her home when the opposite was clearly true about the pilots and the few engineers who were still hanging around the back bar. She didn't really feel like walking alone though, and if Jon was offering, well she couldn't see the harm. "Um, sure. See you guys Monday." She said loudly to the rest of the group, prompting a sea of goodbyes thrown in her direction.

"Yeah, yeah. See you Monday, big ears." She laughed at the affectionate nickname given to her by the pilots when she'd started doing double duty with the UT project that was housed in the adjacent hangar. Jon held the door for her as they stepped out, the March air a little colder than she'd expected caused her to wince a little. He looked at her a minute before she lead the way back toward her apartment only a few blocks away.

"So, you got the matrix working?" He asked after a few seconds of silence, and a few grabs at each other to stop from falling over, either from drink or the uneven path they walked on. She smiled up at him with a nod, glad that someone had remembered exactly what the issue she'd been having with the translator had been.

Expanding on it may be too much for either of their current conditions, however. "It needed a refractive algorithm adding. Once I identified the problem it wasn't huge to fix, just fiddly to get it right. You got the cockpit design you wanted?" She asked, turning into her street.

Jonathan's smile grew, and she enjoyed seeing that smile on his face, it was full of pride, something she didn't get to see all that often, as he would tend to back down. He had learnt not to do that in the last few months though, and seeing the change come to fruition made her happy. "Commander Jeffries agreed that maybe my design was better, I didn't know he was going to use it until today though." He shrugged, stopping in front of her door. She felt the tension sparking between them, not that it had been the first time they'd been alone, or even semi-drunk together, but this time felt different, and she couldn't put her finger on why.

She fidgeted on the doorstep for a minute, before deciding to take the leap. "Would you like to come in?" She smiled, motioning over her shoulder as she met his eyes. She didn't even really need to ask, as he moved closer to her. The door wasn't even shut before he'd pulled her into him. She hadn't thought anything of "them" since the kiss they'd shared back toward the beginning of the programme, but she'd drunk just enough to accept that sometimes she needed to let go, and that included with him. She kissed him back equally as hard as he had started, the urgency growing as she pushed his jacket off and to the floor.

He pulled back a little and she felt him studying her face, last time he had kissed her she had pulled away, and she was fairly sure she'd really hurt him that day, he'd been trying to tell her in his roundabout way that he loved her even then. This time she just reached up and stroked the side of his face gently with her thumb before pulling him close again. His hands dropped her jacket to the floor, and within seconds they were both feeling for the zips on the others' jumpsuits.

She grinned as he picked her up and pressed her against the wall, both their uniforms falling to the floor. "Are you sure about this?" He asked quietly, almost directly into her ear, even as his hands held her up. She wrapped her legs around him and kissed him again, more gently, her hand coming up against his cheek, she just smiled at him, shaking her head at his thinking she might have let anything get this far without being sure it was something she wanted.

She leant forward slightly so that she was pressed against him tighter and whispered in his ear. "I've never been more sure of anything in my life." She ended that thought with a playful nip at his neck, it seemed that was the challenge for him, he secured her in his arms and they made their way toward her bedroom, banging into the walls and furniture as they did. Not that she minded right now. She'd be able to clear everything in the morning.

All thought left her mind as they hit the bed, she was focused completely on the moment and it was clear he was too. Their movements becoming more erratic the longer they were there, she screamed his name as she built to a peak and she fell asleep with his arms wrapped around her, listening to the things he was whispering in her ear.

She woke up feeling content the next morning, still wrapped in his arms. It took her a moment to remember where they were, and who she was with. She rolled over in his arms, meeting his eyes for the first time and giving him a little grin. "Well, that was unexpected."

"Was it?" He asked, and it was clear from his face that he genuinely meant that. She understood why too, they were both flirty people, and their mutual attraction had been pretty obvious since the day they met.

"Neither of us made a move in over a year, Jon." She sighed, wanting to pull him closer but not wanting to overstep any boundaries, if they even had any left.

"Erika, it was inevitable." He smiled, and gently ran his fingers over her stomach.

"Well-" She trailed off, looking at him, it was hard not to lean forward and kiss him again, but she still thought this was a bad idea. The two of them had far too much riding on them still, and she wasn't sure what she wanted. "I don't think we should do it again. You're my superior." She suddenly remembered, his promotion still recent enough that it has escaped both their minds.

She saw his face fall just a little, but he nodded a second later, clearly going through a similar thought process to her. "You're right, it was a one off."

"Does it count as a one-off if we waste the morning?" She asked, only half joking. She didn't want to let him go, and she guessed from the way his arm tensed below her head he was in much the same position.

"I think it could." He grinned as he caught her meaning, rolling over on top of her again, maybe this was a one off, or something else similar, but that didn't mean she wasn't going to take an opportunity that was presented to her, especially when it seemed as though they had put the brakes on them ever waking up together again, she might as well take advantage while she could.


	8. Chapter 8

_**April 2142**_

He hadn't had to chase a woman out of a briefing quite that quickly in a very long time, but after the barely contained annoyance that had even had some of the other pilots lifting eyebrows. He knew that he hadn't done the smartest things on the last test, and that had annoyed her, but it wasn't the first time he'd gone off-script, and she'd never reacted to him like this. He couldn't completely blame her though, he had been holding her at an arms' length recently, and maybe that had contributed to this. He caught up to her outside the hangar office, putting his hand on the door before she had time to slam it in his face. He stood over the desk as she sat down, clearly making out as if she was going to ignore him. "Why are you pissed at me?"

"I'm not pissed at you." Her answer clearly didn't even sound genuine to her own ears, but she continued looking at the padd she was holding, obviously trying her best to ignore him, or lie to herself about her feelings. He didn't know which, and that worried him. After a few minutes longer of him just staring at her, she put the padd down and spoke again. "I was, but I'm not now."

That didn't really clear the matter up much, but he was aware they were still in public, it wasn't as if she'd gone to her office, where this confrontation might have been easier to have. "OK, why were you pissed at me?" He asked, trying to keep her attention away from the padds while not drawing attention to them, it was harder than he expected. But after another few seconds she looked up at him and he could see something snap just behind her eyes.

"Can you not just follow your damn orders Jon?" She growled, and he was slightly taken aback by how aggressive she sounded.

"I can, sometimes I just don't like too." He frowned, trying to make a joke to break the tension between them. She looked away again and stood up, walking out into the main part of the hangar. Thankfully for him, there were very few people around today. "Look, Erika, I know things haven't been great between us since, you know, but I don't want that to define us. Please just, talk to me normally again." He wanted everything to be normal between them again, even if he knew that maybe wasn't necessarily possible.

The way she span round and started tapping her foot reminded him that she was still annoyed with her. "Jon, I've a lot of work to do." She muttered, he just stepped a little closer to her, knowing that this needed to be a turning point, one way or another.

"Please?" He asked again, and finally her face broke into a small smile. He couldn't help but return it, realising that was the first time he'd seen her smile in a couple of months, maybe she was doing too much working on two projects.

She sighed and leant against the wall they were stood beside, crossing her arms across her chest before she stifled a yawn.. "I promise you, we're fine, I've just been busy, especially now."

"We're all busy." He muttered, not sure if he was willing to let her off that easily.

"I know. I'm just taking my stress out on you, because you've been an easy target. I'm sorry" She reached out and rubbed his arm, he smiled a little, even though he wasn't sure where exactly he stood with her, at least she'd admitted she'd been treating him differently. " Everyone is planning on going out tonight, we're going to Tommy's place rather than the 602, you should join us."

His face fell, and maybe the fragile peace they'd just made was about to be shattered again. Not that he really expected Erika to be that petty. It had been three months, and neither of them had made a move, sticking to the agreement they'd made when he'd finally left her apartment that night. He couldn't say he hadn't thought about it, but they had both decided it was best. "I've got a date, Rebecca." He saw the subtle change in her stance, and he regretted that he hadn't taken her aside before to tell her he'd met someone. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you before."

"How long have you been seeing her?" The fake casual of her request reminded him that

"A couple of months or so." At the look on her face he pulled her more off to the side, neither of them needed anyone to overhear this conversation. There was enough gossip about the two of them as it was, he didn't want to add any more to it. "Erika, you agreed that-"

"I know what I agreed to. I just didn't think you'd, you know." She cut him off, and it was clear that she remembered the discussion they'd had at the end of their night together about responsibility. The awkwardness in her voice told him she really hadn't expected him to find someone so quickly.

"Find someone I was interested in?" He asked, more for clarification than anything.

"That's not what I meant, you're never short of admirers. But so quickly after us." She waved a hand between them, and hall he did was catch the hand and hold it still. He didn't want to try and force the issue any more.

"I really am sorry I can't come tonight."

"Its fine Jon. Have fun." She took her hand away from him, and that was that. She was off and halfway across the hangar before he'd even realised entirely that she'd left.

"Erika!" He shouted after her, but she was already in her office. He knew he should have told her before, but he hadn't had chance. He'd probably have to pick what he wanted more soon, not because Erika would make him, she wouldn't, he knew that. In a few days she'd be back to teasing him like usual, but he knew that it was hard for any girl to get used to the fact their boyfriend spent more than half his time with another woman. The worrying thing was that he'd almost definitely choose Erika, even when he knew there was no real chance of anything happening between them, because for the last almost 2 years she'd been his best friend, and that was something he couldn't lose.


	9. Chapter 9

_**November 2142**_

He hadn't seen her in hours, and in that time his annoyance had risen. Was this because of him, because of Rebecca? He hoped not, because that would be really low. She kept telling him she was alright, and she was happy for him, but he could tell in her eyes that at least half the time she was lying. He waited until she was on her own, at which point he pulled her behind the NX Alpha, out of sight of everyone else. He knew that it wasn't something they should talk about where people could see them. "When were you going to tell me?"

He looked at her, and the level of confusion on her face didn't seem to be made up, he was amazed that she could do that so well. "What?" She asked, and he was surprised he'd need to spell it out for her.

"You've been transferred!" He said in a voice slightly louder than a whisper. He saw AG peek round the corner of the prototype, but he disappeared and Jon looked back to Erika's face. She looked like she was trying to process something very quickly in her mind. He watched her as she slowly started shaking her head.

"What? No I haven't." She held her hand up toward him, but he backed away and pulled the latest mission list from behind his back. Out of everyone on the project, her name was the only one not on it.

He pressed the list into her hands, motioning down to it. "Look. You're not on the mission list!" He hissed again, no longer even sure why he was angry, considering it seemed to be as big a surprise to her as it had been to her.

She shook her head again, folding the list up and sliding it into one of her pockets before she looked up to him again. "No. This has to be a mistake. Let me talk to Forrest." She ran off round the corner of the ship, he followed at a much slower pace, and pause where he could just see her through the window, it looked like she was making an impassioned plea to him, but judging by the commodore's face she wasn't succeeding. He shook his head, and even from this distance he could see the slump in Erika's shoulders. It looked like regardless she was going to be transferred.

She made her way over toward him again, and he felt his anger at her completely evaporate, and suddenly the anger was all toward whoever had reassigned her without any warning. It was going to change a lot about the whole team, they'd gotten used to the way Erika worked, learning a new comm officers foibles wasn't going to be easy. "Well?" He prompted, the moment she was in comfortable speaking range. She pointed back behind the ship, where he met her a second later.

He saw the anger in her countenance, and it was obvious in that moment that she was all but shaking with suppressed rage. She didn't manage to hide it as well in her voice, nor in the frustrated sigh she let escape her lips. "I've been transferred. They need a new language specialist on the UT project, I'm the only one available who is on Earth. Forrest was going to talk to me after everyone left tonight." She shook her head, and it was obvious that not only was she angry with Forrest and Lawrence, who oversaw the UT project, she was hurt by the way he'd treated her.

His own anger at Forrest and Lawrence prevented him thinking clearly, but he couldn't debate their points. Erika was a fantastic linguist, and if her skills were needed elsewhere, could he really blame them for taking her. "So they take you and leave us with someone who won't get it."

"Forrest said it was only temporary, a few months at most, and I'll only be in the next room." She shook her head, and clearly she didn't believe the platitudes either. They were both sure that she had worked her last day on the Warp 5 project.

"Not the same Erika, I know you've done work for the UT team before, but they swore they weren't trying to poach you." He sighed, leaning against the ship as he tried to convince himself that they could make do without her. He didn't think he'd be the only one who had problems with this. He would have to call a meeting of the pilots for the following day, if they put in a protest now maybe they could ensure Erika was back before the next series of tests.

She sighed and shook her head, almost as if she could sense his thoughts, and she knew that he would want to do something about it. "Jon, it's done. What say do I really have in it. I go where I'm sent."

He stopped thinking about himself and looked over to her. He wasn't sure what was bothering her more, but he knew he owed her an apology, especially in this circumstance, he felt like an idiot, and if he was lucky she'd forgive him, just like she had so many times before. "I'm sorry, about how I spoke to you before." He said quietly as others came around the side of the prototype.

She leant against the ship, looking up at him. It was obvious that she wasn't going to hold a grudge about it, and he wondered again why she put up with him. She was almost certainly too good for him, maybe that was why he ran away every time things seemed more than platonic. After a few minutes studying him she opened her mouth, and he realised her thoughts had been in the same place as his. The last time she'd almost transferred, after she'd found out about Rebecca. "You thought I was running away from you again. Like I almost did in April."

"Yeah. Promise me something?" He said suddenly, the surprise showed on her face again, and it was a nice shock for him to finally be the one surprising her.

"OK?" She replied somewhat uncertainly.

"Promise we'll still have dinner together. Once a week?" He watched the mixture of emotions play on her face, he could probably have named them all if he'd felt the need. It seemed to settle on an amused smirk.

"What would your girlfriend think of that?"

Rebecca would hate it, she already hated that he spent as much time with Erika as he did. "I could care less. I've known you longer." He said honestly. Whatever he might have with Rebecca would need to get through the fact that Erika was probably his best friend, in every sense of the word, when he had a bad day she was the one he called, in the more than 7 months they'd been together it had never been Rebecca. Had he ever told Erika that she was his best friend. He couldn't remember, and he was certain that one way or another that would be the thing that swung it for him, one way or another. "Please, Erika. I've told you before, you're my best friend. I don't want you to think that changes just because you'll be on another project." He would have begged if he had too, but she reached out, placing a hand on his arm, stopping him worrying more.

"I wouldn't, Jon. Look. This will all work out. It will. It might just take longer than we think. I'll still be the first one to bust your butt if you do something stupid." The grin that spread across her face was enough to convince him she meant it. She knew that he was still there for her, regardless.

"You are good at doing that." He laughed, shaking his head.

"I should be, I've had 2 and a half years of practice. I need to go and clean out my office." She started walking away, and he realised they hadn't set a time or place for the next time they were going to meet. Even though she was now halfway across the hangar he turned and shouted her.

"Erika."

"What?" She shouted back, her hands cupped around her mouth.

"Friday night, the theatre on Roosevelt. 9pm. Don't be late."

"It's a date." She yelled, and he felt his face split into a grin, it didn't matter that he would have to cancel with Rebecca for that night, and probably every Friday night afterward, because he'd made the decision now that Friday night was going to be the night he and Erika decompressed from work as friends. Until she was back on the right team.


	10. Chapter 10

_**March 2143**_

She knew the footsteps as they approached her on the support platform above the NX hangar, as usual she had come up here on her break to think. There was so much had happened during her two weeks of leave, and it still felt strange not to have the first prototype in the hangar with her twin. She had heard about AG's disaster with the first prototype, and she'd heard that a second run was successful. She was hoping that Jonathan would be able to give her some more information on it. It was rare that a comm specialist felt out of the loop. She jumped a little as his hand connected with her back, having not realised exactly how close he was. She smiled and turned to him as he started speaking. "Hey you."

"Hey," she smiled, looking to him then away back out over the hangar, "did I miss anything while I was gone?" She asked a little sarcastically, and she saw Jon's headshake out of the corner of her eye.

"Not much." He leant over the side of the walkway. Bringing his hands out in front of him, almost completely mirroring her stance. "Sam got locked in the store cupboard. Oh, and I'm suspended." The all too casual delivery of the fact he was suspended made her nod and smile for a second before the words sunk in.

"Wait, what?"

"AG too." He added, and she shook her head turning to him in complete confusion. Why would the two highest ranked pilots be suspended at the same time. It didn't make any sense, until she thought about it more.

It dawned on her that maybe the second test was something to do with their suspension. "What the fuck did you two do?"

He shrugged, and the grin on his face told her that he didn't regret what had happened, not at all and probably hadn't even for a second. "We may or may not have stolen the NX Beta." He shrugged, it was all she could do not to turn round and slap him around the head at that moment.

"Why?!"

Suddenly he got quite defensive, and she shook her head at him as he turned to her. His voice rising just a little. "To prove a point, the project was nearly cancelled!"

"I was in New Mexico Jon, I still got the news." She shook her head, of course she had got that part of the news. Samantha had called her almost the minute that people had been told, and Erika remembered pacing angrily around her brothers' living room ranting about the unfairness of what the Vulcans were doing by recommending that to Starfleet.

"We made it to 2.5." He muttered, clearly trying to diffuse her anger by proving to her that he had done it with the best of intentions. She didn't entirely blame him, it was his fathers engine, and if it were here, she'd probably have fought just as hard.

She took a deep breath and let the annoyance out with it, then turned back to him, the big question on her mind was who would be running any of the tests until he was back. "How long are you suspended for?"

He looked at her as if she had grown another head, but there was little she could do to prevent asking the questions."From flying? Three months."

"It's gonna be a long and shitty three months for you." She burst out laughing suddenly, the humour of the situation settling on her shoulders.

"It was worth it. Even the engineer who helped agreed with that. He was given a more lenient sentence than us. 2 weeks." She wasn't surprised at that, he was probably a junior engineer, and Commander Jeffries was always good to his officers, they were the best he could find, so if he had only got a minimal suspension he either hadn't done much or he was the best.

She shook her head and looked at him out of the corner of her eye again, she realised now what she wanted more than anything, and that was to be based out of this hangar again. Not that the UT project didn't have it's own challenges, she missed the camaraderie with the pilots, and everything else that came with being on the warp 5 team. Not to mention her own prospects of promotion would be far better here than there. "You really need someone around here to stop you doing stupid things, don't you."

Jon looked her over, and she felt like he was studying her in a depth she hadn't been studied since her father had died. "It's not been the same since you left E."

She couldn't disagree with him, it had been so different for her, and she didn't necessarily like that the promises that had been made when she was transferred appeared to have been broken. "These seem like a really long 'couple of months'." She mumbled, trying not to sound ungrateful. "I want back on the NX project, Jon. I have since I was pulled off." She said more forcefully, and she realised it had probably been the first time she'd said to him or anyone else what she wanted. She had been raised and taught to accept what authority figures said, and therefore until right now she had never thought about questioning their decisions.

"If I can convince Forrest to bring you back, you'll come?" Jon asked a second later, and she was almost certain that even in the current climate Jon would be able to convince Forrest. Actually, reminding him that the pilots had always listened to her would probably help her cause more than anything else.

"I just said yes. On one condition." She smiled, and knew that she could get this concession out of him. It was something that she had wanted to say to him as long as she'd known him, but had never really had a bargaining position before.

"Name it?" He asked, hands once again joined in front of him, leaning out looking over the hangar.

"You stop pulling these idiotic stunts. I don't want to be in that control room when you blow yourself or someone else up."

"I promise."

As the silence grew she knew that she should be a good friend and ask about his relationship, however much it sucked to be reminded that he was in a steady relationship, and had been for almost a year. "How are things with Rebecca?"

He shrugged, turning his face toward her with a slight look of surprise. "They're alright, I think. I'm always here, she's not exactly happy with me getting suspended at the moment."

Erika couldn't not laugh at that, and for once maybe she and Rebecca had something in common, other than the fact they both wanted what was best for Jonathan. "Well, I can't say I blame her, I'd have kicked your ass."

"I know, you take more liberties with me than anyone else on the planet, other than my mother." He laughed and shook his head, it was true, he let her get away with more than anyone else, and she was necessarily unhappy about that. It always amused her that she could say the most outrageous things to him and he wouldn't even bat an eyelid, once she had been nice to him and he'd been confused. That still amused her.

"It's nice to know I'm in good company. I have a couple of reports due to Commodore Lawrence. Are you going to come up to the 602 with everyone tonight?" She asked, if only because she hoped that talking to him out of work would reveal the real reason he and Rebecca were clearly having issues.

"I was thinking about it. Will you be there?"

"Yeah. Don't bring Rebecca though, I really don't fancy another argument with her in front of everyone." She laughed, and the memory of the last team night out, that had ended in Rebecca getting herself uninvited from future team events, was clearly still on top of both of their minds.

"I think she's working anyway. See you tonight." He patted her back again as he started walking off. She followed him with her eyes again, wondering what it was about him that kept her coming back. It was maybe just about time she gave up trying to figure it out.


	11. Chapter 11

_**June 2143**_

He tried not to feel like he was the one bringing the party down, but he didn't feel like celebrating, though he should. It wasn't just for Rob, who had gotten the Warp 3 flight, but for Erika as well, who had finally been promoted to commander. She was the only one who was paying him any attention at all. He could feel her eyes on him before she started over toward him. "You're looking miserable. Come on, everyone's celebrating."

"I don't have much to celebrate." He said, the moment she stopped next to him. He saw the face she pulled, clearly she was worried about him, but it was also clear that she wasn't entirely sure what was bothering him.

That wasn't about to stop her trying to get him to join in. "Jon. Come on." She said, tugging on his arm just a little. He pulled it from her grasp. Leaning over the bar and grabbing another glass of water. They both had duty the following morning, he knew the Erika wouldn't be drinking either.

"I am proud of you, E." He smiled, and she nodded at him, that same look on her face, the one telling him that he was being antisocial, and stupid about it. The longer she stood with him the more looks were shot in their direction, until he couldn't ignore the glares any longer "They're missing you."

"Screw them." She grinned and he could see what she meant with that. She stepped away toward the door then turned back and looked at him, an unreadable expression on her face. "Come on, let's go."

"E." He said, but she didn't stop pulling him, and finally he put his glass on the bar again and allowed her to pull him out of the door, not even looking in the back room where the rest of their friends and colleagues were. After a while of walking down the almost pitch black back streets he felt the need to ask her again what kind of trouble she might be getting him into. "Erika where are you taking me."

"We're going to work." She muttered, and this time he grabbed her and stopped her, almost certain that he'd heard her wrong.

"Why?"

She groaned and tugged him into moving again. He followed her, mostly because he wanted to know what her plan was. "Because we can set up a plan of attack for the warp 3 flight. It'll be you and me in charge, so it's best to know what we're doing."

"Won't we get, I don't know, arrested?" He pointed out, remembering the last time that he had gone to the hangar after hours.

She shook her head as they came to the main entrance of the building, sliding her pass through the lock and letting them both in. "Nah, I have clearance."

He started laughing as they walked through the dark and silent corridors, he was unsurprised that it was as quiet as it was, with no flights due for a few weeks there was no need for people to be in. He shook his head as Erika slid into the side door to the NX hangar, and he couldn't help but feel this was going to end badly. "This is the oddest idea I think you've ever had."

"You've not seen some of my food choices. My office or yours?"

"Yours. You have more space." He smiled, thinking about being able to spread the PADDs out on her desk.

He watched her as they snuck through the hangar, for some reason the still and dark reminded him of sneaking out of the house when he was a teenager, always trying to get back into bed before his mother had realised he'd been out. Erika suddenly stopped and pressed herself against him, and he heard the telltale sound of footsteps on one of the upper walkways. He looked down at her as they tried to hide in the shadow of the Beta prototype, he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer, and smiled as she looked up at him. "I thought you had clearance?"

"I do it's just better if people don't know we're here." She whispered back, and he could see it now, if they were found alone together in the hangar after hours, especially in the position they were in now. Her lips merely inches from his. In that moment he knew that they needed to step away from each other, because he couldn't control what he was thinking about then and there. He still technically had a girlfriend, even though they weren't on speaking terms. Even after the sound of the security door closing he didn't let Erika go, they just stayed looking at one another until he couldn't take it any longer. He leant down and kissed her as hard as he could and started moving them towards her office. Towards anywhere where they could just be alone together.

Now that he'd started he couldn't stop, and it seemed she was in the same place, fumbling through her pockets for the key to her office, all the while trying not to break their embrace. He laughed as they almost fell through the door, and the moment they were through he leant her against it. He felt her breath on his neck as he found the zip in her uniform, her bite on his neck convincing him to continue even as he felt his own uniform opening. Her hands slid under this shirt, her nails digging into his back ever so slightly. He pulled back just enough to push her uniform down, and he smiled as she kicked it off, pushing it to a corner of the room.

He held her up against the door as she wrapped her legs around him, he couldn't slow himself as she pulled him ever closer, he kept his mouth over hers, muffling the sound they were both making. He couldn't bring himself to think about anything but the woman in his arms, who he'd been in love with for almost 3 years, but had never told her. She groaned his name as he felt her clench around him, and it was all he could do not to cry out in response, instead kissed her harder than he ever had before. Hoping his legs stayed steady enough to hold them both up. A few seconds later he slid to the floor, wrapping his arms around her for a moment, keeping her on top of him so she didn't end up on the cold floor. He remembered that 18-months earlier they'd said this wasn't going to happen again. That there was too much riding on them professionally to risk a personal relationship.

"Erika?" He asked when he'd caught his breath again, she was still laid on top of him, making it hard for him to think of anything else, she rolled over just a little so she could look at him, yet instead of talking she sat forward and kissed him again. Clearly she wasn't ready to talk yet, and when he thought about it, neither was he.


	12. Chapter 12

_**June 2143**_

Now she remembered why she kept a blanket in her office, not for this exact situation, but for something like it, lying wrapped in it with Jonathan's arms around her, she was glad her alarm had been set early. It gave them plenty of time to wake up and pull their uniforms back on before others started arriving in the hangar. She was brushing through her hair in the mirror on the wall when Jon finally started speaking, and it was obvious what was on his mind. "We should probably talk about this?"

She turned round, gathering her hair into the ponytail she wore for work as she did. "What is there to talk about, Jon?" She tried to be as nonchalant as possible, but was almost certain that it didn't work, and that really she had just sounded like an idiot.

The look on Jon's face told her that she had said exactly the wrong thing, and she couldn't blame him for why that annoyed him. She wasn't cavalier about what they'd done, but she wasn't sure she could think about it and not want it to happen again, that was part of her problem when it came to him. It was too hard for her not to want more, even though she knew more would be a very bad idea. Jon's hands took her by the arms, pulling her in front of him and lifting her chin until she met his eyes. "Oh I don't know, the fact that we spent the night together, again, this time on the floor of your office?"

"I know. Look. Last night was-" She trailed off, looking for the right words to describe everything that had happened, and how it had happened, and how she felt about it. But the right words didn't seem to be coming to her. "Weird. But I don't regret it and I'm not sorry about it." She made a point to emphasise the last two points. Needing him to know that she couldn't and wouldn't ever be sorry about it, even though there were all the signs telling them that this was a bad time.

However he just nodded, a smile playing on his face. "Me either." He agreed, and she felt a small weight lift from the pit of her stomach. She knew though that that wasn't going to stop her rambling on, her brain was in gear and stopping it was harder than she thought.

"We both had a lot on our minds and the proximity and-" His finger on her lips was the only thing that stopped her talking, after a second he rested his hands on her hips, and the familiar presence there told her how often the two of them stood in a similar position to this, trying to remind the other of something.

He sighed after a few minutes, and all of a sudden everything came flooding back, every reason she had to make sure they put the project first. That was really what was most important to them both, and sometimes Jon needed reminding of that. "Erika, I don't think either of us can claim it meant nothing this time?" He said, before she could start, and it stopped her in her tracks. No, this had meant something. It had meant everything to her.

"No, it meant something, but our situation isn't all that different than it was 18-months ago." He pulled a face, and she knew he was about to point out everything that had changed in the last 18-months, but nothing had changed so drastically that her position had changed. She wanted him and this more than anything else in her life, but it was bad timing. "We still have the project to think about first, and you have a girlfriend." That seemed to hit them both like a tonne of bricks, but she was surprised to see a smile spread on his face. It was a grim smile, but it was obvious she had helped him make up his mind about something.

"Not for long." He muttered, and she knew what he was saying. That he wouldn't be seeing her after tonight. "If I was really serious about her like I've been trying to tell myself I am, last night wouldn't have happened."

"Are you sure about that?" She couldn't help but ask. 18 months ago he'd said what had happened had been inevitable, she couldn't help but think that this time was inevitable too in a way. Maybe not quite how it had happened last night, and looking at her office door was going to be hard for a while, but inevitable nonetheless.

He shook his head, and gently patted her hips, just where his hands rested, and all she could do was smile again. "Everything just seems to stack up against us, doesn't it?" He asked, and it was clear he'd come to the same conclusion she had. They could have something amazing, but the timing kept getting in the way. "Promise me that one day, when all is said and done and there is a possibility that we can be more than this. You'll tell me." He pulled her closer to him, and she was glad that her blinds were still closed and her door still locked, because this moment reminded her that things were never easy where colleagues were involved.

She thought about the right time. There hadn't been a right time yet, but she did know beyond all doubt that when there was a right time, they'd know. Something would tell them it was the right time, even if they didn't know it themselves. It was something she had to believe in, because if she didn't, what was she waiting around for? "Jon, when the time is right for us, you'll know, we'll both know. There will be some sign, something, that will make it clear that we don't have to take this all on ourselves."

He looked at her, and the emotions she could see playing across his face made it hard for her to not reach up and kiss him again, take back everything she had just said, but she knew that was more her own mental need to take care of him, something that had probably contributed to this. After a few seconds of silence he whispered, barely loud enough for her to hear. "Honestly, do you love me?"

"Of course I do, Jon. Sex isn't just sex to me, it never has been. It wasn't the first time and it wasn't this time. You're only the second person I've ever slept with, Jon. This just isn't the right time." She knew that confession wouldn't scare him off, because he knew her better than that. She wasn't ever going to be one who gave herself away to just anyone, but she trusted him, and that was the big part of who they were, of their friendship.

"You're right," he shook his head and looked over her shoulder, clearly thinking about something, something that really worried him. "I'm scared that one day you'll come into work and tell me you've met some guy and you love him more than you love me." He muttered, and she thought of the irony of that statement. She opened her mouth to make a point about Rebecca, but he lifted a finger before she could. "I never loved her the same way I love you. Rike." She smiled at his use of a family endearment for her, it was the first time someone she wasn't related to had used it, and she found she liked the way he said it. "You're the one I call after a bad day, you're the one I call when I'm feeling down. It's you, and your reasons for why we can't be anything are completely valid and maybe the way I feel is equally about our friendship, but it has been all you since the day we met." he smiled a little, then leant down and kissed her gently. "One day, however long I have to wait, we will have our chance, and when that day comes, I won't let you get away." He kissed her again before standing up and smiling, heading for the door. It was all she could do not to run after him and jump into his arms. They were making the right choice, but one day they could be something more.


	13. Chapter 13

_**November 2143**_

He was leant over the latest set of telemetry readings out of the Intrepid class patrollers, the whole thing was beginning to get more difficult for him, setting a date for the next warp flight that would satisfy everything, including Starfleet's need for three more Warp 2.5 tests, and 6 months in the simulator. He looked up to the other two pilots who were studying the same data, trying to help him set a date. He didn't even flinch as a familiar hand landed on his back. He smiled as she came beside him. "Jon, have you seen this?"

He wrapped an arm around her back to help him stand from his semi crouched position, taking the padd off her with his other hand, looking along the list of data. "What is it?" He asked, he could see it clearly, but for some reason, he wanted to hear her say it.

"It's the results of the last set of simulator tests, you came top again." She teased, squeezing his side and stepping away, causing a snigger to emit from AG and Sam, who were both trying to pretend they couldn't see what was going on the other side of the table.

He laughed, handing the padd over to AG, who was second on the list, and grinned a little smugly. "Can't go wrong with that, can I?" He teased, and he could see the slightly disapproving look that Erika shot him, he couldn't help that the pilots were still occasionally more than competitive.

"You might still get the 4 test." She pointed out quieter, leaning against the table, turning her back to the other two, creating an unspoken barrier.

"I can hope. Are we still on for tonight?" He asked, he'd been looking forward to their usual Friday night together, they'd missed the week before after she'd had a meeting with the UT team, who wanted her opinion on the latest upgrades, and the week before that he'd been in a mission debriefing.

She grinned, nodding even as her arms crossed her chest, making her look far mor commanding than he would ever be able to pull off convincingly. "You bring the beer, I've got the movie." Her terms made him laugh, he always brought the beer, or wine, or whatever else they drunk, she always had the movie, and whatever side-project they'd work on while they watched it until he inevitably passed out on her sofa.

"See you later." He grinned as she walked away, looking back to the pilots he was surprised to see them both with smirks on their faces. As if they knew something nobody else did.

AG was the first one to get the nerve to speak, the eldest of the NX pilots had quite obviously decided he was onto something, and his question was termed in the most schoolboy way. "Jon, are you and her, you know?"

He couldn't help but burst out laughing, he didn't think twice in 18-months counted as sleeping together, and the second time had been almost three months ago now. He shook his head as the two gave him a disbelieving look. "No. We're not sleeping together." He clarified, knowing that was what they wanted to hear.

Sam was the next one to lean forward, it was clear that neither of them actually believed him. It wasn't surprising that they thought that, considering that neither of them generally gave Erika the time of day outside of professional obligations. "Really, you two seem closer than you used to be." Sam's question was probably a valid one, he and Erika were closer, because they had given up pretending there was a boundary between them.

"It started right around the time you broke up with Rebecca." AG pointed out, leading to Sam nodding in agreement, it was as if they had practiced this tag teaming to get information out of him.

Sam's face turned thoughtful for a second, and then it was obvious he'd put two and two together, and then he muttered something that was obvious to him, and was probably closer to the truth than Jonathan had wanted either of them to get. "After you disappeared from Erika's celebration."

He held a hand up, stopping the tide of questioning and speculation. "E and I are just friends."

"Close friends?"

He smiled at that, a question he could answer 100% honestly, because there was no point denying that they were best friends, and had been as long as they'd known one another, and probably always would be. "She's probably my best friend, considering that my other friends are you two."

"That was uncalled for." AG said, a mock insulted look on his face. The three all went back to looking at their data, until AG looked up again with a grin. "You and Erika would make a cute couple."

"We're not a couple." He groaned, wondering how much longer this questioning could go on for, considering that the day was only a half hour from being over, and he'd be leaving with Erika, again, there was no point not waiting on her.

"You let her get away with so much more than anyone else." Sam pointed out, but it was clear from his tone he'd figured out that something had happened between them, AG was, thankfully, still oblivious, and he hoped that Sam kept his suspicions to himself.

"That's because she actually has valid points occasionally." That was the genuine reasons he had always let Erika get away with more, she had almost always had a genuine idea, and a way of doing something that he wouldn't think about

AG opened his mouth to speak again, but it was clear Sam saw something over Jon's shoulder, and started to push AG away, and Jon shot his friend a thankful look. Especially when he looked over his shoulder and saw that Erika was approaching them again. AG continued to try and make a point until Sam snapped at him, pushing him more toward the prototype. "It doesn't matter, let's go and deal with the aft thruster assembly."

The quick departure of the other two pilots didn't go totally unnoticed by Erika, who's eyes followed the two of them away as she slid up to the desk beside him. "What is up with those two?"

There was no point lying to her about what they'd been discussing, since he'd probably let it slip later anyway. He just grinned at her, gathering the padds up and slipping them into his pockets. "Gossip. They think we're together."

"So do half the rest of the team. I've given up denying it now." She shrugged, and rested against the edge of his table again. He held a hand out in front of him once he'd gathered everything, letting her take the lead. Who really cared what anyone else thought, the matter was about if they could work together, and they'd proven that they could.


	14. Chapter 14

_**July 2144**_

He was getting far too used to Erika actually giving him a run for his money during the mandatory sparring sessions, the fact that they always had some kind of personal wager going on, depending on what they were planning to do in the next week, this time she had wagered on where they would spend their weekend climbing, a recent hobby they had both decided to take up. They had both taken to it quickly, and it mean that they would regularly take off together on the weekends along with a few other officers. He had won the bout, and she wasn't happy with his pick. "That was not what we agreed on." She argued as they walked back into the NX hangar, both still catching their breath.

He shook his head, tapping a finger on her chin as he reached past her to grab a bottle of water. "You said whichever of us was closer got to pick where we climbed."

"We've done McKinley before." She complained again, and he had to remind himself that she had been climbing a few months longer than him. She might have done it before, but he hadn't.

"Where would you have picked?" He asked, genuinely curious as to where she thought would be worth them going. He didn't know many places, but he had picked somewhere that he was at least interested in.

She shrugged and it was clear from the look on her face she hadn't actually thought of anywhere, so maybe it was best that he had won, or they'd have ended up on a mystery tour, knowing how indecisive Erika could be from time to time. "I don't know, the peak district in England, or somewhere warmer." She finished lamely, causing him to burst out laughing, shaking his head as she passed him again.

"I won fair and square, E."

"I hate you sometimes." She muttered, leading the way toward their offices in the back of the hangar. He ran and caught up to her, noticing Captain Jeffries heading in their direction. He put a hand on Erika's shoulder, slowing her, since he wasn't sure which of them Jeffries would want to talk to.

"Tell the others that we're going this weekend and they can tag along if they want." He smiled, Erika put her hand over his for a minute, then looked over to see Jeffries approaching and quickly dropped it.

"Commander Archer. Commander Hernandez." Jeffries said, stopping in front of them, and Jon felt himself straightening as if by reflex.

"Captain." He heard Erika mutter beside him.

Jeffries smiled to his companion, and he realised that Jeffries wanted to speak to him about something, and considering that he hadn't had a conversation with Forrest yet, he wasn't sure what it could be about. "Erika, can you give me a few minutes?" Jeffries asked, and out of the corner of his eye he saw her nod gently.

"Sure." She stopped and poked Jon in the side before walking off with a shout over her shoulder. "I will beat you next time." She called, and Jon felt his face split into a grin that he couldn't control. Their interplay didn't seem to be lost on the Captain.

"You two seem to be close?"

Jon nodded, his eyes still on Erika's retreating back until her office door shut, and he refocused his attention on Jeffries. "We've been working together for 4 years, sir."

"That's true isn't it?" The captain seemed to be asking what a rhetorical question, considering everything that was happening at the moment, it was hard to forget how long the project had been going. Jeffries looked Jon up and down, and suddenly he felt like he was being studied for a science project. "Are you ready for a change?"

"Sir?" He asked, not really sure what was being offered.

"Look, Jon. We need a pilot on the design team. I remember your modifications for the original cockpit of the prototype." Jon remembered his surprise that Jeffries had used his design, and now was he asking for more help, for something more. He wasn't entirely certain. "I need a pilot, and I want you. I know your first loyalty is to your father's engine, but the ship needs to live up to what he wanted too, who better to help us do that than you." It was always a worry when the seniors felt the need to try and convince him by bringing his father into a conversation. Jon would do anything that was needed of him to get humanity out into deep space, they didn't need to name drop. Maybe that was why he was comfortable on the Warp 5 programme, he'd gotten used to people knowing his own merits, rather than just who his father was.

"Is this really a request sir?" His mind lingered on a year earlier, when Erika was transferred without her consent. She had spent months on the UT project, despite the fact that she had been needed by the Warp 5 team.

"If you say no, Jon, you won't be forced to join my team, but I'd like you aboard."

"I'll think about it sir." He nodded, and Jeffries started to move away, but after a second the captain seemed to think again, and turned back to Jon, indicating Erika's office over his shoulder.

"Maybe talk it over with others on the team, you might find you're not as indespensible as you think."

He was still stood rooted to the spot when he recognised the familiar sound of Erika sidling up to him. He blinked as she put her hand on his arm. "What was that about?" She asked, pulling him back to the present, and he knew now what Jeffries' parting words had been about.

"Jeffries wants me on the design team."

He spotted the minute change in Erika's expression, but he wasn't going to say anything to her about it, her question didn't surprise him, it would have been the first thing he'd ask if Jeffries had wanted to talk to her."What did you say?"

"I said I'd think about it." He smiled, heading now back toward his office, after a second he heard Erika race to catch up to him, his longer legs making it far harder for her to match his speed.

"You should go for it." She said, the only thing she could have said to stop him completely in his tracks, he turned to her incredulously, unable to believe that she was actually encouraging him to leave the warp 5 team.

"Really?"

"Yeah, its a great opportunity for you."

"Can the Warp 5 team cope without me?" He asked, and he could see from her eyes that she knew the real question she was asking, would she be alright. She gave him a slight smile and reached out rubbing his arm again.

"We'll be fine, Jonathan."

"I best go tell him I accept then. I'll pick you up tonight for our climbing trip." He grinned, knowing that would get a rise out of her more than anything.

"I hate you." She laughed, and walking away he knew that the opposite of that was true, and maybe she was right, maybe the warp 5 teams would be fine without him. That didn't necessarily mean that he wanted to leave them. He really didn't, he had pledged to get the engine flying, but there was more than just the prototypes needed for that, and Henry Archer had wanted his son to be an explorer, once upon a time. He couldn't do that sat behind a desk. Erika was right, it was a great opportunity, and one he now looked forward to going for.


	15. Chapter 15

_**December 2144**_

The knock on the door was the last thing she expected, she jumped and almost dropped the tub of ice-cream she'd half-heartedly been eating. At the second knock she finally put the tub down and walked to the door, the face through the peep-hole was another one she didn't expect. "I thought you might appreciate some company."

"How did you get up here? I thought you were in New York?" She asked, confused. He hadn't come to see her at her apartment in weeks, they'd seen each other at work, and when they'd both been out eating. But very little else.

His grin said a lot, and leaning against the door he looked exactly like the last time he'd teased her. He walked passed her just looking at her pyjamas. "Mom is visiting my aunt. Your neighbour let me in. How are you? You look great." He grinned, completely ignoring her actual questions. She shut the door and looked after him before going back and sitting on the sofa again.

"What are you doing here, Jon?" She asked again, but it was clear by now that he was avoiding her questions, she just shook her head and picked up her tub of ice-cream again, looking over at Jon who dumped his jacket by the door.

"We haven't seen much of each other lately, Rike." He came over and slid beside her, settling on the sofa. "I missed you."

She missed him, but they were both too busy. He'd been on the design team and the more tests that were being run meant she was spending a lot longer in the command centre. "You've been busy designing the ship." She pointed out, and the smile that spread across his face worried her just a little.

He pulled a padd out and held it out to her, and she wondered just how many protocols and security issues he was breaking showing her the initial blueprints for the ship. "She's going to be beautiful too." He smiled, his arm over the back of the sofa behind her. "So tell me, what's going on with the project?" He turned to her and she grimaced, not really wanting to think about it, because thinking about that made it pretty obvious that she missed having him as her partner in the command centre.

She tried not to think about that. "AG is the one in the control centre, and he hates it. Sam and Rob hate him giving the orders. We're due a couple of new pilots in the new year though." She smiled, looking back into the bottom of her ice-cream tub and realising she'd eaten the whole thing that evening. She looked over to Jon, who was looking at the news channel she'd had on. "Jon." She muttered after watching him for a few moments.

"Yeah?" He asked, sitting back next to her his arms crossed. They just looked at each other, but she felt the need to tell him that that she missed him.

"It's not the same without you on the project." He looked at her with a confused expression, and all she could do was expand on it. "It feels different. There isn't as much dedication there." she stopped and put her hand on his leg. "I miss you."

"I miss you, too."

She shook her head, looking into his eyes and hoping that maybe he would understand what she meant. She'd never been great at letting people know exactly how she felt about them, so she needed to keep going. "No, Jon. I mean I really miss you. Like, I hate going into work and knowing I won't see you walking past my window, or hear you laughing with Sam and AG. They won't admit it, they miss you too. But I miss you most of all."

"Erika?" He muttered and moved closer to her. Despite all their talk of good and bad times, and signs from the universe, she knew that she needed him right now. He slid an arm around her, pulling her to him. He held her close for a few minutes, kissing her on the top of her head. She pulled back just a little, enough to lean up and kiss him lightly. Within seconds he was kissing her back, laying her back on the sofa. "We said we weren't going to do this again." He whispered, continuing to kiss her neck as he did.

"We said a lot of things, Jonathan." She muttered, stopping him for just a second so she could look at him, holding her hand against his cheek. She wanted to memorise this moment, everything that they did together. He leant back down and kissed her, deeper than before. His fingers fumbled with the buttons on her shirt, she pushed his shirt off at the same time, her heart was pounding beneath his hands.

The last time they'd been together, it had been fast and furious, there had been no thought or exploration to it, now she took the time to really look at him, feel him under her hands. The two of them taking things much slower. He picked her up and carried her through to the bedroom, she didn't let go of him for a second, not wanting to open any space between them, worried that if she did this spell would be broken, and that was the last thing she wanted. He whispered little things in her ear as they came together, she smiled and kissed his neck, his cheek, anything she could. Everything seemed to fall into place as she watched his face.

She laid curled in to his side afterwards, her hand lazily drawing circles on his chest. The unspoken '_it still isn't the right time_' discussion not needing to happen, of that she was certain. She knew that when that magical time came, if it ever did, there would be far more talk. She chuckled a little as she realised it had been almost exactly 18-months since the time in her office. Something that still made looking at the door awkward. She rolled over toward him, letting him pull her closer to him. "There seems to be something about us."

"What do you mean?" He whispered in her ear again, it seemed to be one thing that he always did. Whispering in her ear as she was half asleep. It was something she'd always remember.

She grinned at him, leaning back a little so she could look at him. In turn he rolled over so he was facing her, pulling her even tighter to his front. "Well, we seem to sleep together every 18 months or so."

"Maybe it's just because you are so beautiful, sometimes I can't keep my hands off you." He smiled, stroking his hand up her back, and round under her chin before he kissed her again, sliding over the top of her. "It's after midnight, merry Christmas." He muttered, she smiled as he leant over her again. For once she had gotten something she wanted for Christmas, even if it wasn't going to last. The new year was coming though, who knew, maybe this year would be different.


	16. Chapter 16

_**April 2145**_

The design bay was almost silent, with only Jon working on the designs, the quiet tapping and hails of Jane Laws, the comm officer for that team, were the only other noises in the room. He was trying to think of how best he could optimise the layout around the bridge when he heard the security door on the top level open. That was the door that directly connected them to the Warp 5 hangar. The only people who used that door were the officers who were tasked with delivering messages from either of the commanding officers, who both had offices up on that top level. After a few seconds of silence he went back to studying the plans, clearly whoever had come in had been looking for someone else. "Archer!" was barked a second later, and he groaned, only the unimpressive aide of Commodore Forrest, Aaron Jordan, would shout for him in that manner.

"What?" He grunted, and he could feel Jordan's eyes on his back, if he kept staring so hard, Jon would have two smouldering holes in his back.

"No way to talk to a superior, Forrest wants you." He yelled back, at which Jon looked over toward Jane, who gave him a light smile and a shake of her head. He knew that she was telling him that kicking Jordan's ass was probably not the best way for him to deal with this situation. They were the same rank though, and technically, Jonathan had superiority, by about three weeks.

He felt the annoyance again in Jordan's stare, and continued to not look around. "You're not my superior Aaron." He said just loud enough that Jordan would be able to hear.

"My ass I'm not." Jordan scoffed in the background, and Jon finally felt the eyes leave his back, at which point he knew he'd need to confirm the message.

"I'll be there in five."

Jane stood up and brought some files over toward him, Laughing as she did, she was used to the way that Jordan was as well, both teams had gotten used to dealing with him, though as far as he was aware nobody looked forward to it. Jon smiled as he took the files off Jane, he caught the grin on her face, and he knew something was coming, what that was thought he could only guess at. "Forrest is in charge of the Warp 5 team, isn't he?" She asked, and he was taken aback by the routine question, having expected something far more interesting.

"As far as I'm aware, yes." He answered sarcastically, but didn't miss the wry grin that spread on Jane's face.

"Maybe you're getting that transfer back you keep putting in for." She muttered, picking at her fingernails. He hadn't mentioned to anyone on the NX team that he had wanted a transfer back to the Warp 5 team. Though he knew that they had probably caught how much time he spent in their hangar when he could get away with it.

"How do you know about that?"

Jane's face told the story long before she said anything, and he felt himself beginning to smile. "Comm officers know everything." She muttered conspiratorially, and that caused his smile to grow even more. He should have known that somehow she was behind this.

"Erika?" He didn't really need the clarification, but it was probably best that he asked, because it meant that Jane could give her a little warning that they had spoken.

"Yep."

"She misses me over there." He said, watching as Jane nodded. He knew that the comm officers in the hangar were all pretty tight. Jane was probably the only other person in the building who knew how complicated his relationship with Erika really was.

"I know, I think that whole team misses you though, to be honest. You'd do more over there than you can here anyway." Jane smiled, clearly working to make it less awkward for him.

"Thanks, Jane."

"Anytime boss. You'd better go see him." She gave him a little push before walking back over to her own desk. He walked up the walkways to the office, looking down briefly into the Warp 5 hangar. He could pick Erika out in the middle of the floor, hand to her ear, clearly directing the officers around her. He watched her for a minute, too high up to hear her words, but glad to see that she was clearly the one in charge. As if she could sense his gaze she looked up, on spotting him she gave a slight wave, which he returned before turning and knocking on the office door behind him.

"You wanted to see me Commodore?" He asked as soon as he was granted entry. Forrest indicated to the seat opposite him.

It wasn't often Jon had been called up here, but he still felt like he'd been called to see the principle, he hoped that Jane was right, and that he was getting his transfer back to the warp 5 time, but he knew it wasn't best to try and push the commodore. Jon looked to the desk while he waited for Forrest to continue. "Yes, you've been doing some good work on the NX design team."

"Yes sir." He nodded and tried not to look as worried as he felt.

"Are you ready to come back and head up the Warp 5 team?" Forrest asked, seemingly out of the blue, and it took Jon a moment to realise what had just been said. Head up the team?

"What?"

Forrest smiled, and it was obvious that he had already made his mind up. "We want you back, Jon, and I know from Commander Hernandez that you're ready to come back to us." The last was delivered with a hint of a teasing smirk on the Commodore's face. Jon found himself pulling a face, though he couldn't help but smirk at the fact she had been fighting his corner for him, much as he had fought her corner when she'd been transferred years earlier.

"When will she not talk about me?" He joked, hoping that Forrest knew he wasn't being serious.

"She made a pretty valid point in our staff briefing that things haven't gone as smoothly or as quickly since you left. You gelled the team together, and that is what we need right now." Forrest confirmed, and it wasn't a surprise to Jon that Erika had been the one to say that, really it was probably more that she disagreed with more than half the orders the other pilots would give, and that generally meant that she would ask for him to be in the command centre with him.

"OK?" He asked, wondering if and when the catch would come up, he hoped there wasn't one, especially when it seemed like Forrest was going for the hard sell on him.

"It'll be a big step towards commanding that ship you've been helping to design. Monday, oh-eight-hundred, you'll even get your old office back."

"I'll be there, Commodore." He smiled, it was the transfer. It had taken all this time for it to be confirmed. He stood up and shook Forrest's hand. Who then leant forward just a little with a serious look on his face.

"Good, now, go tell Commander Hernandez, so I don't deal with her on my doorstep again this evening."

"Aye sir." He shook his head, laughing at how annoying but valid Erika must have been to have convinced Forrest that he was needed back on the project. He would never again complain that Erika was unable to get what she wanted. It seemed that she was just far more underhand than the rest of them in the way she went about it.


	17. Chapter 17

_**October 2145**_

She sat at the desk trying to keep her head down and her ears open, just like her father had always told her to be. She was trying to read through all the previous flights data. She could hear all the other officers on the team talking around her. It was never hard to not hear Hernandez talking with Duvall on the other side of the room, neither were keeping their voice down. She could see Archer out of the corner of her eye, who was watching the other two as well. After another covert look to see where everyone was she started focusing on her work again. Ignoring the tennis balls that flew over her head as Robinson and Gardner came into the room throwing them at the other officers. "Get everyone ready for the weekend Sam. We'll be free." She looked up as the voice came closer, and smiled to the Commander who came and stood over her shoulder. "Hey, you're the new guy right?" He asked.

"Lieutenant Fletcher, yes sir." She nodded, smiling as he slid down onto the seat next to her. She could feel his eyes sliding over the documents she studied. Out of everything what she wanted most was to know what was going on.

After a few seconds he leant in to her a little and whispered. "Have a first name Lieutenant?"

"Veronica." She grinned, turning to him. She'd never been on an assignment quite so lax about protocol, she was the only lieutenant, everyone else had been given a promotion during their time on the project. She still wasn't entirely comfortable being so informal with superiors, but these officers had been working together for more than half a decade, it wasn't surprising, really, that they were more informal with each other than other postings might have been.

"I'm AG. You've been pretty quiet here, you've been here a week."

She nodded, not really sure what she should say other than that she had been here, and had been trying to learn her way around the huge complex. She had never expected the complex to be so big, despite knowing there were 4 teams of research and development based here, including the Warp 5 and NX projects. "Yeah, I've been busy getting the lay of the land."

"Who've you met so far?" AG seemed determined to engage her in conversation and maybe it was time for her to come out of her shell. She put down the PADD she was studying and sat back, looking to the Commander.

She thought a minute about who she'd met, she'd tried to keep to herself past the basic pleasantries that everyone in the building shared. Work wise she hadn't had all that much to do yet, and she wondered how 4 pilots and a comm officer had been needed on the job for half a decade, but she didn't really know the ins and outs yet. "Mostly I've been assigned to Commander Archer, and I've spent a lot of time with Commander Hernandez too."

"Ah, you've met them. Sam or Rob?"

"I don't think so." She shook her head, while she knew them from their names and the brief introductions, she hadn't actually met them.

"You will before long, I'm sure."

She wondered if it was even appropriate for her to ask her next question, but it was something that had been bugging her since her first day, and she wondered if AG might be able to at least convince her that maybe trying to chase Commander Hernandez socially was a bad idea. "What is the deal with Archer and Hernandez anyway?"

AG's face broke into a grin as he looked across the hangar to where the four other officers were playing a rather noisy game of catch. Archer occasionally making a grab for Hernandez to put her off. "Oh, they are whatever they are." He shrugged, and she wondered if she was going to have to push a little harder for information. Before she could phrase her next question AG had already begun to speak. "You can just call them Jon and Erika, you know. It's pretty informal around here."

"I'm trying to do that." She smiled, desperately trying to remember to use first names, not ranks. "Are they sleeping together?" She blurted out, her gaze still drawn over to the tennis ball fight that was punctuated with a loud discussion of warp theory she wasn't even sure she could follow.

Another shrug graced AG's shoulders, and she shook her head at his lack of information, then he shifted his chair closer and dropped his voice. "Officially? Nobody knows. Unofficially? We all hope so."

"Wow. The sexual tension whenever the two of them talk to each other is just, not fair. I don't think I've ever had chemistry like that with anyone in my life." She laughed, even though what she was saying was true, she had had friends with similar levels of chemistry since flight school, they were all the happiest couples she'd ever seen. "I don't blame him though, Commander Hernandez is pretty hot." She couldn't believe she'd let that slip, but rather than judging her AG laughed and looked over to the officers again.

"Oh yeah, I don't think there is one officer here who would turn her down, she's only got eyes for Jon though." He grinned, the two of them standing up and pushing her a little forward toward the other officers.

"That was pretty obvious."

"We're taking bets on when it happens." AG said, whispering to her at her arm.

"When what happens?"

"When the two of them finally wake up, smell the shit and get together." AG burst out laughing and Veronica couldn't help but laugh loudly, causing everyone else to look at them all, and a brief round of applause went up when they saw she was walking over with AG. After a few minutes she sidled back over to AG and whispered, her eyes lingering on Erika.

"Can I get in on that?"

"See Commodore Forrest, he's running the pool." AG laughed, pointing in the direction of Forrest's office. She looked up there and made a mental note that next time she had a quiet few minutes she'd have to visit him. Just do see where the smart money was, and where the odds were.


	18. Chapter 18

_**October 2145**_

Jon smiled as he followed AG and Sam into the hangar just in time to see Erika asking the latest member of their team to join them, it had been clear in the three weeks since she'd joined them that Fletcher wasn't used to how open and informal the warp 5 team had become, and that was mostly because they'd been serving together now one and off for 5 years. He saw the Fletcher was trying to turn Erika down, and the three pilots slowed as they passed the table. "Come on newbie." AG shouted, and the two women looked up, Jon's eyes caught Erika's for a moment and he couldn't help but grin. Fletcher, however, looked between the 4 officers who outranked her, clearly just a little confused about what she was being asked to do.

Erika, as usual, came to the rescue, her calm explaining of the now 5 year old ritual they had, and Jon hoped that this would mean that they might get to know Fletcher a little more. "It's the first Friday of the month, meaning that it's time for you to see our ritual."

Fletcher stood up and grabbed her coat, falling in with the officers. Jon brought up the rear of the group, Erika and Sam up front, discussing something, while AG and Fletcher walked together in between. Jon could almost hear the cogs turning in Fletcher's mind as she tried to wrap her head around what they were saying. "And that is?"

"We try and drink as much as we can and count how many people wake up at Erika's on Saturday morning." AG said, and clearly that entered Erika's realm of hearing, she turned back and gave him a glare before elaborating.

"I live closest to the bar."

"Oh."

Jon felt that maybe it was time for someone to reassure the Lieutenant that what they were planning wouldn't get her a dishonourable conduct discharge. They were all glad that now he was married Rob wouldn't be joining them, some of the things he had tried to do probably would have gotten them all a discharge. "Don't worry, we won't let you get lost."

AG took over the conversation again as they continued walking, trying to explain the night's plan. "Rules of waking up at Erika's. Everywhere but the bed is fair game, she broke Rob's nose once when he tried to get on the bed. Don't fall asleep in the kitchen, you will be stepped on, and" AG dropped his voice to little more than a whisper, but Jon could still hear, he wondered if AG had just forgotten that he was right behind them and could hear every word they were saying. "if Jon disappears, don't go near the bedroom."

"What? Are you saying they?" It was clear Fletcher though that AG meant that they'd sleep together if they were left alone in the bedroom. It took all his self control not to laugh, and he instead contended himself with shaking his head in the background.

"No, but Jon is the only one who can get away with getting on the bed with her without GBH charges being considered." AG finished, still clearly talking conspiratorially to Fletcher, this time Jon couldn't keep his mouth shut.

"You know I can hear you right?"

AG grinned while a blush rose on Fletcher's cheeks, Jon wondered for a second if AG had tricked Fletcher on purpose, he had a habit of doing that with new recruits, and apparently he and Erika made it easy for people to misinterpret them. "I forgot you were here, sorry Jon."

He shook his head as Erika fell back a bit, leaving Sam to join AG and Fletcher in front of them. As she fell into step beside him he smiled down, wondering if it was going to be worth bringing up that he hadn't seen her hardly at all that day, or that week. "Hey, I didn't see you around today, or much this week really?" He bit the bullet, and she smiled a little, clearly still thinking about whatever had been keeping her so preoccupied this week.

After a minute she nodded, and he wasn't sure if that was to him or to herself. "I was busy on the projections for the last 2-5 flight." She said, stepping closer to him as they walked through the door to the bar, being direct to their usual booth at the back, every slid round, and as they all ordered drinks he felt his arm settle in it's familiar place around Erika's back.

He leant in to her a minute later, speaking as quietly as he could. "Oh. I still have your birthday present?" She hadn't been especially thrilled when the team had discovered they'd missed her 30th birthday, she hadn't wanted a fuss at work when she was having a big do back in New Mexico. He had remembered it, but he hadn't had chance to tell her about it.

"Really?" She asked with a smile.

"I'll bring it to work Monday."

"Why don't you just bring it on Sunday?"

"Sunday?" He asked, suddenly certain that he'd forgotten something vitally important that they'd been told at a briefing a few days ago. This wasn't a good sign, especially as he recalled arranging to do something with Erika for it.

The look she was giving him told him his level of panic was still not even close to what it should have been. As soon as she started speaking he remembered, and he remembered their plans. "Unification day, we're on parade, remember."

"Shit, I forgot. I'm picking you up, aren't I?"

"Yeah. Or I can stay at yours Saturday night. You're closer to headquarters."

"That's what we'll do then." He smiled as her hand slid on top of his on her hip. He couldn't help but watch her out of the corner of his eye, laughing at the jokes and glad to see that, finally, it appeared that Erika, at least, was pulling Fletcher out of her discomfort.


	19. Chapter 19

_**February 2146**_

Erika smiled as she handed another towel to the taller blonde, the rain had thoroughly soaked her, and it was clear that ice cream on the sofa was the best plan for the night. As the only two women on the Warp 5 team they had spent a lot of time together, but rarely outside the project and only once before at her apartment. "Thanks for inviting me." Veronica smiled, clearly excited at the prospect of a night with a friend.

She laughed, bringing the two tubs out, she had remembered Veronica mentioning that she loved rocky road, while Erika herself had always been a cookie dough type girl. "It's been a couple months since we last spent much time together outside the project. Ice cream, and I think we have Love Actually playing on PHC."

"Which version?" Veronica asked, and Erika smiled, knowing that question was vitally important to most of her female friends, and she remembered when she was about 19 not speaking to her roommate who claimed the 2074 version was the best. She couldn't remember if they'd spoken since.

Regardless, she knew that most people agreed that, in this case, the original was the best, and that was the version that most channels played. "2003. The original."

"The best!" Veronica smiled, and Erika slid down onto the sofa, passing her a spoon and digging in to the ice-cream, before pulling out the beer she'd been hding and offering a bottle to her companion. She gratefully accepted the drink, and a little while later looked over at Erika. "Is the project always like this? So busy?"

"Every day for the last 5 and a half years." She grinned, proud again that she had the knowledge to say that. Everyone in Starfleet had wanted the Warp 5 project, but it was now a specialist unit.

Veronica snorted with a smile, something clearly on her mind. "I remember at the beginning I wondered why they'd needed all 5 of you for the project. I didn't realise how busy it was, and you all get each other."

"You've only been with us 5 months, you'll fall in." Erika tried to reassure her. She knew that people who came into established teams after they'd been together so long had always had issues, maybe it hadn't been as easy for Veronica as Erika had always thought.

"Anyone would think you're a group of engineers, not pilots."

"I'm not even a pilot, but I had to learn fast. You always do when you're thrown in the deep end with 4 pilots who all want to prove you wrong every time." She remembered those early days, with everyone trying to prove her wrong, and everyone out for themselves. It had taken time, but now they were a well oiled unit, and what was best for one was more than likely best for the team.

"You all seem like you just know what each other are thinking."

"Me and Jonathan, maybe, everyone else, not really. We can just predict what the others would do after years of observing their behaviour."

Veronica turned and studied Erika for a minute before she asked her next question, and Erika wondered if she was crossing the boundary from professional to personal. "You know, I've been trying to figure out what the deal is with you and Jon since I started, apparently the others have been trying to figure you out for years and nobody knows what you are?" The question couldn't really be more personal, but for some reason she felt comfortable discussing it with Veronica, she was almost certain that she would keep confidences, something she couldn't guarantee with the other pilots.

She chuckled as she thought about the question, and realised she had no idea what she and Jon were. "Ronnie, I don't think Jon and I know what we are half the time."

"Really?"

She continued thinking, taking another bite of the ice-cream. "We've been close since the project began, and he's probably been my best friend for the last 5 years."

"Nothing more?" Veronica asked, spooning her own ice cream into her mouth.

Was now the time to tell someone she'd slept with Jon? She didn't know for certain, but she decided it might be time for her to let it out. "Sometimes, sometimes not. There is always a reason."

"A reason for what?"

"A reason for us to not push each other into a relationship."

"But you love him?" Veronica asked the most blunt question that Erika could think would be asked, and now she had opened herself up to this, she couldn't seem to stop herself. Saying things out loud had always been something that helped her make decisions, maybe 5 years of hiding from this was part of why she could never make a decision on him. Never make her mind up as to whether or not she loved him to the point where she would be able to commit herself to him.

"Yeah, I think I always have. Since the day we met. You know, I've only slept with two people in my entire life, and I'm 30." She splurted, and then shook her head at herself. It was clear that Veronica was a little surprised by that statistic too.

"Really?"

"Yeah. My high school boyfriend, who I broke up with when I was 22 and assigned to the Lovell, and Jon."

"You have slept with Jon?"

She laughed, mentally replaying each time in her mind, some of her most cherished memories. She would think about those times when she was in need of reminding that she did everything for a reason. "A couple of times. We always write it off though. We were drunk, our emotions took over, we were just too close to each other. The project comes first, always, and I'd rather have that safety net because I don't think I could cope with hurting him."

"Hurting him?" Veronica asked as the buzzer for her door went, she had long since given up trying to make the receiver work, it hadn't worked in 4 years, and now it was just easier for her to run down the stairs and answer the door.

"I'm a terrible girlfriend, always have been. My mother says I'm too selfish. Simon says it's independence." She said as she started for the door, hearing Veronica's shout as she got halfway down the stairs.

"Were you expecting anyone?"

"No. I was not. Hold on." She continued down the stairs, and was a little surprised to find a heavily inebriated Jonathan Archer on her doorstep. She wondered if he had sensed that she was talking about him. "What are you doing here?"

"I can't find my new apartment." He muttered as she put her arm around him, only a little annoyed that within thirty seconds she was soaked through, and shivering a little at the cold, she pulled him into the building and made sure the lock caught as she shouted.

"Come in, you're going to freeze if you don't. Ronnie, we have company."

"There is someone here?" Jon asked, whispering in ear as she helped him up the stairs.

"Veronica, you're fine. Lets get you a coffee, some water, and some dry clothes."

"I'm sorry for ruining your night."

"You didn't." She smiled at him, settling him on the sofa where he picked up her half-empty tub of ice-cream and took a bite.

"Guess our girls night is over, huh?" Veronica asked with a grin in the direction of the drunk pilot.

"I guess so."

"I'm going to head home, let Jon have the sofa. Let's do this again next week."

"Sure." Erika grinned and walked to the kitchen making Jon a coffee. Hoping that she could sober him up a bit before he fell asleep again on her kitchen table like he had a few weeks earlier.


	20. Chapter 20

_**February 2146 **_

She pulled him up off the sofa, shaking her head as he grabbed at the tub of ice-cream he'd taken a fancy too. He was still dripping all over the floor, and she was glad she had a leather sofa and wood floors, it would be easy to clean up. "Come on, let's get you changed." She said, hoping the would spur him into following her.

"Can I finish this first." He asked looking at the ice-cream.

"That was my ice-cream." She muttered, and she saw him stop, putting it back in the bowl on the table.

"Oh, sorry."

She stopped trying to pull him, instead she just gave up, hoping that if she just reminded him that she was soaked through too he'd follow her willingly. "Jon, I'm freezing, you soaked me through too, come on I think I still have some stuff you left here." She headed through, and a minute later she turned round to see him stumbling through the door. She quickly changed into a fresh pair of underwear and a tank top. Finding his in the bottom of her sock drawer. She stood in front of him and looked at his bleary eyed gaze, clearly beginning to sober after the extra strength coffee. "You know you shouldn't get so drunk you don't remember where you live. I might not always let you in." She muttered, coming to stand in front of him, still holding the fresh clothes.

"You always have before." He said quietly, and she tried to ignore the sadness in his voice, but it was harder than she'd imagined to do.

"That's what worries me."

"Rike?" He said, reaching out and pulling her a little closer, causing her to grab a towel from the bed and start trying to dry his hair.

"Yes." She asked, wondering what could have possibly jumped into his mind at this point of inebriation.

He grinned up at her, a cheeky look as he obviously gave her a once-over. "I've always appreciated the way you can fill out the standard issues."

"Now I know you're drunk. Arms up." She chuckled and shook her head as he followed her instructions. His civilian clothing hitting the basket by her door.

"Anyone would think you do this all the time." He hiccuped a little, and she shook her head at the surprising accuracy of that statement, it wasn't all the time, but it was a fairly regular occurrence.

"Only about once a month, when you get too drunk to go home."

"Thank you." He muttered, and leant up to kiss her. For a second she forgot that she was supposed to be helping him as a friend, allowing the kiss to linger maybe a second longer than she should have done before she came to her senses and pulled away.

"Jon-" She started, but he held his hand up to her first, pulling the clean pair of shorts on himself, then studying her.

"Look, I know I'm drunk, and this is probably a stupid idea, but when will we be us Rike? Just us?"

She shook her head, not willing to have this conversation with him while he was drunk, and not sure she wanted to have the conversation at all."Jon, you need to sleep before you make yourself sick. Want me to make you another cup of coffee?"

"I'll just sleep here."

"I'll go and get some water at least."

She walked to the kitchen and a minute later she heard the telltale sound of him shuffling in her bed. This was becoming too common an occurrence for them both, and she knew that regardless she'd clean up and crawl into bed and wake up with his arms wrapped around her, just as she had every time he'd done this, or they'd both gotten back to hers after having a few too many.

She did wonder when they would have time for them. The new blood coming into the team, with Veronica and Jack, the new junior comm officer, things weren't quite as pressured on them, but she still felt she had to hold back. What she'd told Veronica had been the truth. She was sure there would be a sign, and that would be when it was the right time for them, but finding the time was the issue it seemed.

She put the water and paracetamol down on the bedside table on his side, standing back and watching him as he drifted to sleep, holding her own mug of coffee, trying to warm herself up. It was time that she would never regret spending, because she doubted many people got to just watch Jonathan sleep, he was quite particular about where he slept and who he slept in front of. She remembered the first time they'd spent the night together, how she'd woken up to him studying her in the middle of the night. It had taken a long time for him to just sleep.

Now though, now he'd sleep almost anywhere in her apartment, but she knew that his favourite place was next to her, maybe that was the sign they needed, because she slept the best she ever did when he wrapped his arms around her. It was hard to believe that after 5 years she could still be so confused by him, by how she felt about him. She had always thought when she was younger that if you loved someone it was supposed to be easy. Nothing in her life was ever easy though. She had learnt that by now.

So instead of brooding on it any longer she finished her tea and climbed into bed, trying to keep the invisible line between them, but failing when only a minute later Jonathan pulled her into his arms. She settled down, wanting to remember the reasons she kept giving for why they couldn't be together. Every time she thought about it another reason seemed to not matter. It was time that she just accepted it.

"What are you thinking about." She heard whispered in her ear, and instead of it bothering her, she just rolled over a little and smiled, placing a light kiss on his nose. She just shook her head and leant against him. Maybe it was time she stopped pretending she didn't love him with all her heart, because even if she couldn't admit it to him, she needed to admit it to herself.


	21. Chapter 21

_**March 2146**_

The test flight was due to go in a matter of days and he was still dealing with engineering issues. This was never a good sign, last time they'd had this many problems they'd lost a prototype, and almost lost a pilot. What he wasn't expecting was to hear Veronica running up the stairs behind him. He shook his head, not really sure what he was expecting her to say, but considering they were still arguing about who he appointed as pilot for the test, he was steeling himself for another fight. "Hey, Jon, can I have a word?" She asked, and he tried his best to sound as casual as he could.

"Sure Ron, what's up?"

"In here?" She motioned to the empty office that had been Duvall's until a week earlier, she turned the light on and shut the door behind them, and suddenly Jon was certain this was going to be about something not to do with the project, at least not directly.

"I'm not liking this. Is this about last month?" He asked, the only thing he could think that she might want to talk about. He had to admit that turning up at Erika's drunk was never a great impression to give someone, he and Veronica had for some reason never connected the way she had with the others.

"Sort of."

He sighed at her half answer, taking hold of either side of his nose, feeling a headache building up. "I'm going to need more information than that."

Veronica's whole body language changed, and he knew that she had been brought up to be a by the book officer, and he was sure that any kind of a personal discussion with a superior was hard for her. "Look, I'm not sure how much I should really say, with you being my superior officer." She confirmed his suspicion, and he knew what he needed to do to fix that.

"Right now we're two friends talking, lets forget the ranks."

"OK then. We need to talk about Erika." He was surprised by that. He had been sure she was going to ask about his drinking habits, or something else. He normally kept Erika as a private topic, but she and Veronica had gotten quite close in the six months since Veronica had joined the project, and Jon was certain that whatever was discussed here was never going to reach Erika's ears, no matter how good she was at disseminating information.

"What about her?" He asked, and he could hear the defensiveness in his own voice. Something he instantly regretted.

"Have you not noticed that she's been distant this month?"

He thought back over the last few weeks, he had taken her out a few days earlier to remember her father, and he had written off her distance to that anniversary. He knew how much she missed her father, and how it felt to feel lost without him. "Not especially, maybe a little but it's been 5 years since her dad died, I'm not surprised."

"It's not just that. Believe me." Veronica sighed, leaning against the desk and looking at him, arms crossed in front of her.

"What are you saying Ronnie?"

The sigh and the look in her eye made him realise this was going to be far deeper than just a discussion about Erika's state of mind, and he wondered just how much the two women had shared. "How long are you going to keep leading her on?"

"What?"

"You know that she's head over heels for you, would do anything for you, but you don't really see her that way do you?" Veronica's accusing tone didn't really help his mood, he wasn't sure he wanted to talk about his feelings for Erika with anybody aside from Erika herself, but curiosity was winning out, and he knew that this was probably the only time he and Veronica would get to talk about this candidly.

"How do you know how she feels for me?" He asked, wondering if she had figured it out, or if Erika had told her, and either way he wasn't sure how to take the news. He had always known it, but knowing that Erika had said it to someone else would be the icing on the cake for him, even if he still didn't know where they stood.

"She told me, before you crashed our night in last month."

"Right." He stopped, shaking his head and wondering if it was time he told someone exactly what was going on between him and Erika, and then he saw the slight blush on Veronica's cheeks, and suddenly he understood. "You have a thing for Erika too, don't you?"

"A little, but unlike you, she doesn't care for me that way, and she likely never will because she doesn't care for anyone but you. I know all about the fact you've slept together, again, she told me." He opened his mouth to again ask, but she held up a hand before he got the chance to get a word in. "We're girls, this kind of thing comes up."

"Are you here as a friend or competition?" He asked, and almost instantly regretted the wording. He knew why she was there, and he needed to stop being so jumpy about the idea Erika could meet someone else.

"Right now, a friend. Yes, I'm attracted to Erika, but I'm also her friend and her happiness means more to me than that, she was the first person who really took time to get to know me out of the project, and she's helped me settle in here." Veronica's shoulders slumped, and it was clear to him that she honestly cared about Erika, she only wanted what was best for her friend, and she saw Jon as being something that was causing her friend pain. He might have done the same thing had their roles been reversed. "Jon, if you care about her even at all, you should let her know one way or another."

This time he couldn't help it, and it sounded like Erika had only told her half the story, probably because he'd crashed their party. He knew that he needed to tell Veronica that he had wanted so much more, but that hadn't been on the cards for them, at least not yet. "Did she tell you that she's the one who puts the brakes on?"

"What?"

"She and I have spoken about the possibility of a relationship more than once over the years, and you know what the common thing is, that she's always the one who isn't ready." He smiled a little, remembering the conversation, the first time he'd told her he loved her. The first morning he'd woken up with her in his arms. Every time since. "She knows exactly how much I love her. She knows that I would go to the end of the world for her, but neither of us were ready to put what we wanted first."

"What got in the way?" She asked, and finally her voice sounded a little more friendly, a little more sympathetic. He and Erika were both in a bad situation, and it was almost impossible for them to decide what to do. Especially when he knew that their reasons always sounded ridiculous when said aloud.

"A lot of things, the project, our careers. My girlfriend, for a while."

Veronica rested a hand on his arm before she pushed herself off and headed toward the door. "Well, I think the two of you need to decide something one way or another, because I'm not sure that Erika knows what she wants any more, and that is never a good position to be in." Veronica laughed a little before shaking her head, seeing Erika pass by the window on the way to either the break-room or the control centre. Veronica inclined her head and smiled. "She doesn't make it easy, does she?"

"Not at all, and I wouldn't want her to change." He admitted, sitting back to think as Veronica left. Maybe it really was time he and Erika had a discussion about where they were and what they were, but he wasn't sure if he should be the one to bring it up. It never turned out well when he did, and he tended to need more Dutch courage than he'd like to admit to even consider bringing it up. He knew that Veronica was right, something was changing in the air, and he knew one way or another it was about to be make or break time for them, which way it would go though, he still didn't know.


	22. Chapter 22

**I'm writing this A/N for my lovely friend Neb when she gets here. I promise no leap at the end.**

* * *

_**May 2146**_

She hadn't exactly ever enjoyed being in the flight simulator. It had always been the worst part of the job for her, but until this year it had always been Jonathan in with her, and for some reason that had made it easier. At least she had room to stand up and pace and complain about the things on her mind. "I hate men. I hate pilots and I hate this simulator." She said for what was probably the third or fourth time since the simulator had powered down and trapped the two women over an hour earlier.

Veronica however had pulled out a PADD and started reading, all but ignoring Erika's annoyed pacing. Eventually she sighed over the top of the PADD, looking at Erika with a mix of annoyance and amusement. "Calm down EH."

"I can't calm down, I want to be out of here, now." She groaned, suddenly feeling claustrophobic as she made the three steps across the room again. Hating that she didn't have the room to accurately work off her frustration.

"You know you're a terrible pilot?"

She saw through Veronica's attempt to change the subject by teasing her about her lack of piloting skills. "That's why I majored in communications." She kept pacing, and could feel Veronica's eyes following her as she did.

It didn't take long for Veronica to sigh again, and finally she spoke in a resigned voice, clearly aware that Erika was annoyed, and she made a mental note to try and hide it better. "EH what's really going on?"

She thought through every possible lie she could give, but instead just shook her head. Thinking the easiest thing to say would just be the truth. Veronica was a good friend and had learnt enough about their relationship at this point that there was no need to hide anything. This time though, it wasn't about their relationship, it was about work."I just had a disagreement with Jonathan this morning."

"Oh really." Veronica's eyebrows almost disappeared into her hairline as she looked over. Erika scoffed and shook her head, knowing she should have clarified before pausing.

"About the project, don't start I'm not in the mood." She said, and she saw the slightly defensive pose that Veronica pulled.

"I wasn't starting anything, but this is why I'm into chicks."

Erika shook her head again, wondering what that had to do with anything, but after a second she realised, and chuckled a little. "Tell me about it, maybe I should bat for the other team?" She joked, earning a smile out of Veronica.

"You know that won't work, what particularly has you so pissed off today?"

"What do you mean today?"

Veronica stood up now, her taller frame requiring her to duck a little in the cramped quarters. "You've been a spitting cobra for two months. What's up?" The bluntness of the question meant Erika was the one falling back onto the seat, trying to clear her mind.

What had been bothering her, she didn't really know. It had been a combination of things, and all of them had started with the letter J. "I don't even know, Ron. Jon and I had a chat a few weeks ago, basically just clarifying our position with each other." She sighed, and looked toward the floor.

"Didn't go how you wanted?" Veronica prodded a second or so later, trying to get Erika to look up again. She thought again, wondering still what she had really wanted.

"I don't know what I wanted."

"Did you want Jon?" Veronica asked quietly, taking the copilot's seat again and putting her hands on Erika's knees.

"I've always wanted Jonathan." She shook her head, the real problem was her, it had always been her. She was the one who had stopped everything between them for the last 6 years, and it didn't matter to her that she loved him, that was always second. Now though, now she'd just been afraid that she couldn't commit to him after so long without any sort of relationship. "I'm a coward."

"That's why you've been pissy?" Veronica asked, and Erika felt the need to talk now. The floodgates had opened and she knew what she needed to say, what she needed to get out before she completely forgot that she had anything to do.

"I could have told him then and there that I wanted more than this but, no! I had to tell him that I still didn't think it was time for us. Then I went on and said that I wasn't sure there would be a right time." Veronica's grimace said everything. Erika stood up and started pacing again. Trying not to over think what had happened following that. It had been the hardest thing about that night. He hadn't fought her, he hadn't even said anything in response to that.

"Ouch. How did he take it?"

"He walked away." She admitted, and wiped her eyes, glad that only the emergency lighting was on, so Veronica couldn't see exactly how much this had affected her.

"You haven't spoken about it since?" Veronica asked in a quiet voice, making it clear that she knew what the problem was, and that it had upset Erika.

"No, and I hate myself for saying it because it's the opposite of what I want. I have been in love with that man out there for almost 6 years. Since I was 24. I've not thought about anyone else in all that time and because I'm a coward I pushed him away, and in doing so probably lost my best friend and my chance at happiness and it sucks, Ron. It sucks knowing that it was all my fault."

"It's not your fault Erika, you just-" She was cut off by the sound of the sound system alerting them to an incoming message.

"OK Ladies, we're bringing you out now. Just two more minutes." AG's voice rang out over the comm system in the simulator, telling them that they were finally almost free.

"Erika, I swear it's not your fault, but you shouldn't let fear win. You love Jonathan, he loves you. Why not bang down the door and go for it."

"I don't know." she took three steps to the doorway and there was the last face she expected to see, having thought he'd gone home hours ago, instead he was stood at the foot of the stairs leading up to the simulator, a smile on his face. "Jon?" She asked before stepping onto the steps, just watching his face as she descended.


	23. Chapter 23

_**May 2146**_

It had taken 45 minutes for him to get out of a meeting on budgets to get back to his own hangar. He'd tried to escape the meeting as soon as word had reached him that there was an issue with the flight simulator, but Forrest had made him stay, and now he raced into the command centre. He saw AG stood behind the mission commanders desk, clearly trying to gather the information on the situation that was going on down on the main floor. "How are we doing on getting them out?" He asked as he came up behind him, looking over AG's shoulder at the visual feed from the darkened simulator. It wasn't hard to guess who was trapped in there, only Erika would pace, the rest of the team had been stuck in the simulator more than once.

AG looked up, taking a step back so that Jon could join him at the console, it was obvious that something had jammed the circuitry again. "The engineers are there, reckon they can release the doors in about 10 minutes or so."

"How are they doing?" He asked, concern clouding his voice, and he wasn't sure why he was concerned, he knew that it wasn't a big deal, but he also knew that the simulator made Erika feel claustrophobic, especially when it was powered down.

AG laughed and indicated the screen again, clearly showing whatever Erika was talking about had her gesticulating wildly. "EH's going off her head it looks like." AG laughed, shaking his head at the screen. Jon couldn't help but echo the chuckle, watching Erika when she was animated was always something amusing.

After a few seconds he patted AG's shoulder, shaking his head and turning away."Shout me if you need me."

"Jon have you heard this?" AG said before he could move more than a few steps away.

"What?"

"Erika's talking, about you. She must have forgotten the comm line is active."

"What?" He asked again, shaking his head a little. He wasn't sure he wanted to know what Erika was saying that would cause AG to grin in quite the way he was doing. He pulled his earpiece out and flicked the switch after making sure it was only the two of them in the command centre.

"Just listen."

"-_Have told him then and there that I wanted more than this but, no! I had to tell him that I still didn't think it was time for us. Then I went on-_"

It only took a second before Jon felt AG's slap on the back of his head and felt his glare. "You are an actual idiot."

"What? Why!?" He asked, reaching up and rubbing the back of his head where AG's slap had caught him while ducking down onto a level, trying not to focus on the clearly private conversation Erika was having with Veronica, almost certain it wasn't for his ears, even if it was about him. He respected her privacy more than that.

AG, however, clearly knew what was going on just from the brief snippet of conversation he'd heard. "Jon everyone here can see how much she loves, every single one of us have known for years that the feeling is mutual." Jon opened his mouth to debate that, but AG held his hand up to stop him. "Even when you were with Rebecca we all knew it was only a matter of time, because you always had her back beyond everyone else."

He shook his head, not sure if he was denying it to AG or if he was trying to avoid the inevitable truth that absolutely everybody knew his private business. Though somehow it seemed right now that that wasn't going to happen. Everyone already knew. "She's my best friend."

AG looked at him again and Jon ducked at just the right moment to avoid another slap. "She's more than that and you know it, and I know it, and you should just stop lying to yourself."

"All along she said there would be a sign." He thought, and as he fell quiet he heard another part of her conversation.

"_I have been in love with that man out there for almost 6 years_."

AG just looked at him, and this time Jon knew he wasn't going to be able to avoid AG's judgement. "Jon, if you've been waiting for a sign that you two belong together. I think you just got it." Though on that point, Jon had to agree with AG. It was quite clear that this time he couldn't disagree. If Erika was telling someone else that she loved him, maybe that was the sign he needed.

"I think I did too."

He ran down to the simulator, waiting for the door to be opened only a minute or so later by the engineers. He saw Erika and he couldn't stop from grinning. The look of confusion on her face was enough to make him grin even further. "Jon?"

"Look, I know that thing haven't always been easy for us, and I know I've not always been the bigger person when it comes to you. You told me there would be a sign, and when the time was right we'd both know it. You know, Rike, that this is the time, we have a chance and we shouldn't let it go to waste. I left a few weeks ago because I wasn't sure I could hear you telling me that we needed more time when everything I wanted was with you."

"Jonathan, we should-" she started, but he couldn't let her break this moment, and instead of letting her finish or walk away he kissed her as hard as he could. Pulling her toward him as he felt her surprise give way to kissing him back. He felt her arms wrapping around him as he pulled her even closer. Bursting out laughing a few seconds later when he pulled back to hearing the applause from their colleagues.

"Damn, Jon. It's about time." AG laughed and clapped him on the shoulder before looking around to everyone else. "Pay up, everyone, pay up. I told you it would be this year."

"Wait you bet on us?" Jon asked, looking around the gathered pilots even while trying to wipe the smile off his face.

"Please, since your second week. Commodore Forrest has had the list hidden away in his office. We all bet on it. Come on everyone, let's give the lovebirds a little privacy."

"Did you plan all this?" She asked, the smile on her face one of the biggest he'd seen.

"I swear I didn't, I guess it was just a sign." He shook his head at his own cheesy line before kissing her again then stepping back, remembering what had happened last time they'd kissed in this hangar, it had lead to him waking up on her office floor. He took a step back and just looked at her for a minute then indicated the door. "You know. Technically we finished work half an hour ago. Let's go."

"Your place." She muttered as she came in to him again, and he immediately understood why. His place was closer to the project, and that would mean getting talking out of the way. They both knew where they were now, and it was time for them to accept it.


	24. Chapter 24

_**July 2146**_

The monthly night out was getting larger every month, and this time they had actually filled the smaller of the two function rooms in the back of the 602 club. Erika stood at the bar, studying the collection of pilots and engineers that made up the team now, she still barely knew the names of the engineers, and she knew that largely she wouldn't need too. She laughed as she saw Jonathan telling one of his stories about the beginning of the project, probably one about the ill-fated survival trip they'd taken to Death Valley. It hadn't been the most fun she'd ever had, she had to admit that. She was still watching him when she became aware of someone standing at her elbow. It only took a second for her to realise it was Veronica. The taller blonde gave her a smile as she ordered them each a fresh shot, then clearly followed her eyeline to Jon's back. Veronica grinned and turned them both around before she started talking. "Nobody would guess anything had changed."

"What?" Erika asked, knowing full well what Veronica was implying, but trying to pretend she didn't. She had endured plenty of teasing at work about it, but had enjoyed informing AG that she and Jonathan had already christened her office, several years earlier. The horrified look on AG's face and the blush that had been on Jonathan's during that conversation would probably live with her forever. Veronica nudged her again, shaking her head a little.

"It's like you and Jonathan have always been together. Even at work." She said, and Erika shook her head, wondering what exactly Veronica was trying to say.

"Well, we're not going to let it interfere with work." She muttered, it had always been something she'd been strict on, and it seemed that it had never interfered with their work before, and now they were consistently being told it was like nothing had changed.

"I mean even here, outside of the project. He's still sitting with his arm wrapped around you, same as he always has." Veronica nodded in the direction of the chief pilot, who was still laughing. Erika had to think, had she and Jonathan really always been like that? It would explain a lot why Jonathan's relationships had never really stuck longer than a few weeks, aside from Rebecca, whom she tried to forget, and who she still occasionally saw out and about, and was used to getting the evil eye from her.

"I never noticed." She answered honestly, and the grin spread on Veronica's face. Suddenly Erika wondered if her friend was winding her up.

"You can be a bit clueless can't you?" Veronica teased. Knocking on the bar again. Erika wondered if she'd be able to stand up when Veronica finally went back to chatting with the pilots, leaving Erika to watch in peace.

She couldn't really disagree with Veronica about being clueless, however, it was a failing of hers, and she knew it. Particularly when it came to her personal life, that much had been proven. "You're only just figuring that out?"

Veronica's face turned serious a few seconds later. Her hand stopping Erika's mid-drink. "How are things going?"

Erika grinned and turned again to see Jon still talking. Things were, genuinely, great between them, and she wished they'd done it earlier, but she still didn't think she would have been ready any earlier. "Good. Like you say, hardly anything changed, aside from when Jon shows up in the middle of the night I don't need to worry about kissing him. It's not exactly what I expected this to be, like you say, very little has changed." She grinned as Veronica nodded a little, then leant closer to Erika's ear before muttering.

"Apart from the sex?"

Even as she laughed she felt the blush rising in her cheeks, and she cursed her complexion for a minute, then nodded, having to give Veronica that point. "Well, yeah."

"You two ever actually stop when you're at home?"

She smiled and took a sip of her drink, trying to look nonchalant, but she couldn't help but defend Jonathan's honour, a little. "Actually, yeah. Mostly we watch old movies, and talk, and just do what we've always done."

"This is why I knew you two were meant to be together."

Erika grinned at her, a second later she knew she had something to say. "Thanks, Ron, for always listening to me."

"Hey, you know if things don't work out between you two, I'm always available." Veronica finished her shot signalling that she only wanted one more, of which Erika was thankful, Veronica had 5 years on her, and she already felt a little unsteady on her feet.

"I'll remember that."

It was clear Veronica was about to give another sarcastic response when she felt hands on her hips and knew that Jon had come to join them, he was the only person who would dare to take hold of her from behind. "What are you two talking about?" He asked with a smile, and the two women exchanged a look before giving completely different answers.

"Shoes."

"Underwear."

Jon's eyes narrowed and it was clear he didn't buy it for a second. "Please, you don't buy underwear and Ron you hate shoes." She had to laugh at that, he was right, she hadn't bought underwear in years, since very little was actually comfortable under their uniforms, and since she had learnt of Jon's love of the standard issues, she didn't feel the need to buy anything when she could get them free.

"Dammit." She muttered under her breath at how well he knew the two of them, and she reminded herself to think up something more imaginative next time.

"I'll see you in a bit EA." Veronica said, grinning as she stepped away toward the rest of the pilots, a grin clearly visible on her face.

"Yeah. You don't need to-" she was cut off by Jon's hand ticking her into silence.

"Yes she does, because we need to leave." Jon muttered, pressing himself against her back and muttering in her ear. One of his favourite things to do.

"Why?" She asked, wondering what excuse he would use.

Instead he kissed her neck before muttering in her ear again. "Because I'm feeling a mighty need to see those standard blues."

"See you Monday everyone." She grinned, finishing her drink off and accepting Jon's hand as he pulled her out of the bar. She loved that she no longer needed to pretend that they weren't going to spend the night in bed together, and she was grateful to their friends and colleagues that they had all accepted it so quickly. As Jon pulled her into him for a kiss barely halfway back to her apartment she knew that the night was going to be a long one, and most of it was going to be active. She couldn't help but wonder why she'd been afraid of this, when she couldn't imagine it being anything else.


	25. Chapter 25

_**October 2146**_

The day had gone almost exactly as he'd planned it, at least up until now. Sally Archer had never been the easiest woman to get on the good side of. She knew what she wanted and what was best for her son, and never before had he heard the last three words come out of her mouth. "I like her." His mother had said almost the second Erika had been out of earshot on the drive.

He looked at his mother with a slightly judgmental frown, which just caused her to give him a slap on the arm. A second later he clarified what he meant, already worried that she didn't quite understand why he didn't believe her. "You've not exactly been nice to her."

"And she hasn't been nice back. It's a sign." He had to smile at that. For every sarcastic remark Sally had shot at her, Erika had had something equally sarcastic to say back, and it had been an interesting power struggle to watch.

Though the idea that was a sign was not exactly what he'd had in mind. "What do you mean?" he asked, and then just felt confused as his mother's face split into a smile. One that he'd never seen during a discussion about his women of choice.

"Jonathan, she's a good girl."

He smiled back after a minute, looking down the drive to where Erika was stood at the end. "So, you approve then?" He asked, feeling his mother's eyes searching the side of his face for something, he wasn't sure what.

"This time. Yes." Her qualifier worried him. 'This time'? He knew she hadn't liked Miranda, nor Sarah and she definitely hadn't liked Rebecca, but mostly she'd gotten along with his girlfriends, or she'd pretended too at least.

"What do you mean this time?"

She sighed and frowned, shaking her head. "I hated the last girl you brought home."

"Rebecca? Why?" He had a good idea of why, but it would be nice to at least have the confirmation. Considering he had discovered the entire NX programme had disliked her too, he shouldn't be surprised that his mother would have disliked her.

"She never seemed good enough for you, and she was stupid."

So, she did agree with his friends, clearly he surrounded himself with too many people who thought like his mother. "Well, I guess I can't really argue with that."

Sally looked down the drive and Jon followed her gaze, his smile growing as he landed on Erika, finally able to say she was his after years of wanting it. He wasn't sure whether or not it was everything he wanted, but almost everything from that moment on had included her in his planning. His mother grinned and squeezed his arm. "This girl, she's clever. Knows what she's talking about. Where did you meet her?"

"Work." He smiled, and the look that spread on Sally's face told him that gave her a good memory too.

"That's how I met your father. Keep hold of her, you need someone who can keep control of you, especially now you're getting on a little."

He shook his head at the teasing, trying not to mentally add the 'I want grandchildren' debate they'd had once when he'd been dating Rebecca, though she had stipulated that she didn't want him to have them with Rebecca. "I'm 34, mom." He sighed, and she grinned, elbowing him in a teasing way.

"Exactly, getting on. Next thing I know you'll get that ship you want and you'll be gallivanting around the universe." At that he pulled her into a hug, hearing the telltale sound of a shuttle getting closer to them, and knowing he needed to remind her that him going to space had always been what he wanted.

"That's been the plan since I was 6."

Sally stepped back a little and stroked his cheek, grinning a little sadly. "I remember. I'm still standing by what I said. Keep hold of her, she's a good one."

As if on cue, Erika turned and shouted up the drive, her hand covering her eyes from the late evening sun. "Jonathan, the shuttle's here."

"I have to go mom, we'll come see you soon."

"You better." She called after him as he raced down the drive, he smiled as he reached the side of the shuttle, seeing the others who had already been picked up to return to Starfleet after the weekend leave.

"Goodbye Mrs. Archer." Erika shouted up the drive again, he turned back to see his mother wave briefly then shut the door. A second later as they got on the shuttle she whispered to him, heading automatically for the back seats, ignoring the conversation around them from the new recruits. "Your mother hates me."

"She actually really likes you." He muttered back as he sat down and pulled her close to him. The thing he had missed most after two days with his mother had just been holding her close to him regardless of where they were.

"What?" Erika was clearly shocked by that news, which amused him more than it probably should have done.

He shrugged a little and smiled as she leant into him, he noticed everyone turning forward again, maybe after noticing that they outranked everyone on the transport. "That's what we were just talking about while you waited for the shuttle. She thinks you're intelligent." He whispered the last in her ear, causing her to sit up a little and smile at him.

"Well. I guess that is a bit of a step up considering you only dated waitresses as long as I've known you." She teased, and he had to think harder than he expected to come up with a comeback.

"Hey, Neela was a doctor."

"She was a medstudent and she was 20." Erika said a little louder than either of them had intended, bringing a little bit more attention to themselves than they'd intended.

He held his hands up and pulled her to within an inch of him before speaking. "OK, ok. You win." He grinned, then closed what little distance he'd left open, kissing her gently, just enough to make her forget what they'd been talking about.

When he pulled back he saw the little grin on her face, and almost laughed aloud as he heard her little response. "Oooh. I think I like winning."

"I'll show you a better reason to win later." He muttered in her ear, suddenly wishing they'd taken the private transport home instead of waiting on the Starfleet one.

"Can't wait, so she really liked me?"

He nodded, settling back in the seat and looking at her out of the corner of his eye, knowing that Erika had been legitimately worried about his mother's reaction, especially as she'd heard the horror stories over the years. "Told me to keep you around, she's never done that before."

"Well then, I'm flattered, terrified, but flattered nonetheless."

"Can we stop talking about my mother now?" He asked with a smile, being even happier when Erika settled into his shoulder again and pulled a PADD out of her bag, clearly deciding that maybe reading would be more fun than continuing to ask about how the weekend had actually gone. He wrapped his arm around her and went to looking out of the window. Glad to have at least gotten this weekend out of the way.


	26. Chapter 26

_**January 2147 **_

Everyone gathered in the control centre held their breath simultaneously, everyone aside from Erika, who knew her job was to keep calling out the numbers, both for those in the room and for the pilot who was out making the historic run. She was proud that Jon had gotten the lead, and happy that Veronica had been given the command room in his absence. AG and Sam were both there, ready to give assistance as back-up if it was needed. She counted down the last few points to warp 4, and grinned as Jon's triumphant call came over the speakers into the room. "_There goes the boundary_"

She smiled at everyone celebrating until Veronica drew her attention to the red light on the systems, she shook her head and motioned for quiet. "We're getting a warning light Jon." She said, and the static that she got in response didn't say anything positive.

Slowly broken words made it through the static, but it was clear only her ear could pick them out, they were barely anything against the background noise, but they didn't paint a pretty picture of what was happening on the prototype ship. "_I'm having some - with - no choice - end_"

"You're breaking up commander." She said, trying to sound as professional as she could while fear settled in the pit of her stomach. This wasn't the first time she'd had trouble with the communications during a flight, but it was the first flight that Jonathan had been on where the comms had dropped, and she was worried, because she loved him and it always worried here when she couldn't get hold of him. A few seconds later even the pitch of the static changed and the telemetry dropped out, forcing her to utter two of the words she always dreaded saying during a flight. "Comms dropped."

Veronica walked up behind her to the comms station and looked over what little data they did have, it wasn't much and she felt her hands shaking as she put out yet another unanswered hail to the prototype. "Shit, Erika, anything?" Veronica asked after a fruitless thirty seconds of trying.

"Nothing on our end, it has to be an issue on the beta." She shook her head, hating to utter those words because it was never good for the pilot who was out there on their own without the backup of an entire team of engineers.

Veronica stepped away and while Erika began the task of combing the various sensor systems she had available to her she heard the Lieutenant take complete control of the situation, doing exactly what she was expect to do. "What's the warning?" She demanded of the engineer on duty, a younger Scottish man by the name of Kyle, she'd never learnt his surname not really knowing the engineers at all.

The stress of the minute made it harder for anyone to understand Kyle's strong accent. "It was on the secondary intake valve. No vital system."

Veronica's voice said it all, it was clear she was unimpressed by the engineers idea that an intake valve failure was nothing, it was never a good sign and could indicate serious engine trouble. She remembered a story Jon had told her once about how intake valve issues were ignored throughout the warp programme, but she'd still prefer to err on the side of caution. "All systems are vital on a prototype Kyle. Erika, call through to Jupiter Station and see if you can get a comm out to Proxima." Erika nodded in Veronica's direction while opening the hail to Proxima colony's main computer system, granting her direct access to their sensor net, something that had been agreed when the NX programme had gotten to the testing stage. She had access codes to every sensor net in Earth's control, and right now she was willing to use them all to find Jonathan. "I want eyes on our ship. Kyle, get on with the engineers. I want to know what's happened."

She got on with her side of the work, ignoring everyone else as she combed all the snesor data for Jonathan's possible whereabouts, but she couldn't see anything. She started muttering under hear breath, no longer sure if she was praying or cursing. "Shit, shit. Come on Jonathan."

"I'm sure he's fine Erika." Veronica muttered over her shoulder a short while later, clearly taking a moment away from commanding the mission to comfort a friend, and she wondered if her worry was as obvious to everyone else in the room, especially their Vulcan observers.

"You can't guarantee that."

"Nobody can, you know that. Focus on the comms, and keep that line open to Proxima, he hit 4, he's most likely out that way." Veronica squeezed her shoulder and turned to face newly promoted Admiral Forrest, she tried not to listen to the conversation, but it happened right behind her chair and she simply couldn't.

"What's going on Lieutenant?"

The sigh in Veronica's voice was hard to hide, and she wasn't especially surprised, Forrest had said that this was too soon after the 3 flight for them to run the 4 flight. Jon had overruled him on that, with assistance from the engineers. "We've lost contact with the prototype, sir. Commander Hernandez is trying to get eyes on him, it's harder than expected." Veronica again squeezed Erika's shoulder, and she felt the gaze of Forrest land on her back. She fought the urge to turn until she felt his eyes leave her.

"I'll put Starfleet on alert for a search and rescue."

"Thank you sir."

"_-Beta to mission -_" Came suddenly through the speakers, causing Erika to almost drop everything she was holding and just stare at the newly reestablished data link, Veronica took over talking for a moment, clearly aware that speaking had suddenly become a challenge for Erika.

"We can barely read you commander."

"_Is this better?_" Came over much clearer a second later, and Erika sighed with relief, wiping her eyes as she did so, unaware how much she had needed to hear his voice until that very moment.

"Much. What happened?" She asked taking over her job again after pulling herself together enough to speak. He was OK, and she was happy with that.

"_A signal booster jarred loose. I dropped out of warp and repaired it as best I could. Thought I'd check in before starting the journey back._"

"Damn Jonathan, we were worried." She said before she could stop herself, and she saw the smiles of everyone around her, and then heard Jonathan's little chuckle on the other end of the line.

"_I promised you dinner out tonight Rike, can't break that now can I?_"

Forrest smiled and leant over to pat Erika's shoulder before giving out an order. "Get yourself home Commander. I'll go and report the success to Starfleet. Good job everyone."

She couldn't end the communication without letting him know exactly how much he had worried her, and she hoped that a quick threat might be enough for him to know not to do it again. "Jonathan, you ever make me worry like that again I'll have to punish you."

"_Can't wait, see you soon._" He finished, and the connection dropped out, but now she knew where to look she could follow the prototype as it made its way back to Earth, she hoped that she never had to experience the sheer terror of losing him like she had today. It had broken her heart to think that she might lose him for good, after only 9 months of actually being together. She sat down and took a deep breath, the reassuring blip that she knew was Jon's ship on its way back to base. He definitely owed her dinner tonight, and a whole lot more.


	27. Chapter 27

_**May 2147**_

He had successfully managed to get her on the commercial shuttle and out into the cabin where they were going to be spending the next week without her lifting the blindfold. While some people had been concerned, when they had asked her she had laughed, but now he could tell she was fed up, but at least here they were, and he could show her the vacation he had spent the last two months meticulously planning. He gave her a gentle kiss before stepping away, letting her stand still for a minute before she clearly started worrying. "What are you doing?"

"It's a surprise." He said, opening the curtain onto the ocean view they had, loving every second of the wait, hoping that when he let her see what was going on she'd understand why he had insisted on complete operational secrecy. He'd have to remember he owed Veronica and Trip. Forrest had owed them, well. One debt was settled.

"Jonathan?" Erika said more sternly, and he stepped back to her, taking her hand and leading her in front of the window, making sure that nothing made a sound while he stepped behind her, kissing the nape of her neck as he did.

He smiled a little, resting his forehead against the side of her head. "Just trust me?" He asked quietly, knowing that she did anyway.

"I hate surprises." She moaned stubbornly. He smiled as she did, his spare hand snaking up her back to untie the knot in the blindfold that had kept her completely in the dark.

He leaned back a little as she opened her eyes, squinting at first in the light. He stepped around her so that he could see her reaction when she saw the view, and the cabin. "Happy anniversary." He grinned as her mouth dropped. He laughed, seeing her spin on the spot, looking around at everything that was there. He couldn't stop the smile growing as he watched her, until she came and stopped in front of him, looking again out of the front windows.

"This must have cost a fortune!" She admonished him gently, but he just shrugged, smiling as she leant forward and kissed him, before playfully slapping his arm.

He laughed again and shook his head, never being more amazed at Erika's habit of worrying about the cost of things. "Nope one of the engineers part owns with his family. There is a tapas bar around the corner that I'm informed makes all your favourites, and we're here for a week." He smiled as her jaw dropped again, and he realised exactly how shocked he'd made her this time.

"How did you do this?"

"A little help from Veronica , Trip and Admiral Forrest."

"Those bastards." She laughed, walking up to the window and looking out across the front view, their bit of beach and their very beautiful view, he watched and thought that the view was only enhanced by her silhouette standing there in front of the view. He wasn't sure he could forget how she looked in this moment, still completely shocked by what he'd managed to pull off. He was amazed he'd managed to pull it off.

"I wanted to bring you away, to celebrate a year since we stopped denying everything between us."

She turned back to him, dropping the shawl she'd carried around her shoulders to the sofa and grinning at him. "Have I mentioned I love you?" She asked, and while the answer was clearly rhetorical he couldn't help but think of some kind of sarcastic answer.

"Only a few hundred times."

"I take it you packed my bag?" She asked, he had to fight the urge to answer with something sarcastic, and instead nodded, watching her face change as he got closer to her again. Turning her toward the view.

"I didn't need to pack much" He grinned as he circled around her, pulling her back against him again as they looked out the window over the beachfront. "I don't intend for you to be wearing very much." He whispered, and smiled at her quick intake of breath. His words having exactly the effect he'd desired. He saw her lick her lips out of the corner of his eye, and he grinned at the knowledge of a job well done.

When she span round suddenly in his arms he found himself staring at the most mischievous look he'd faced since Erika's niece had tried to push him in the pool. "Well, I'm fairly sure I can accommodate you." She whispered, and that brief feeling of her breath on his ear causing shivers up his spine, and he remembered that Erika was equally as skilled at this game as he was.

"Erika-" He started a moment later, then stopped and pulled her tight against him. Wanting to hold her for a moment before he thought of anything. He smiled as he thought about everything that he had planned for their future, everything he hoped for them, and everything she had done to prove that he was more than he had thought he was. "Thank you, for this last year, and for everything."

"Why?" She asked, her dark, inviting eyes almost begging him to tell her all of his secrets, she could use those eyes to a devastating effect against him, and it had always made things more interesting for him.

"You have made me the happiest person on the planet, and I can't imagine anything better than spending many more years with you. I love you." He muttered and smiled at the look on her face, a combination of shock, gratitude and love shone through, and as she leant forward to claim his lips he knew that this surprise had been worth it, because he had managed to show her that he truly loved her the way he always told her. He knew that actions spoke louder than words, and he hadn't always been the best partner to her, he hadn't always been the best friend, but he had always been there for her, and he always would be. No matter what happened between them. "You're the other half of me, Rike." He admitted, the first time he'd ever thought to tell her that in the exact words. She just smiled and kissed him again, her hand sliding up into his hair, her favourite place. He held her tight against him, happy that this woman was there with him, and that she loved him the same way he did her.


	28. Chapter 28

_**November 2147**_

Erika wasn't a fan of the cold, and she wasn't especially fond of the British weather either. Most of the day it had been rather sunny, windy, but sunny. Now the windows were filling with snow and the wind was finding its way through all the cracks in the old log cabin they were in. She was surrounded by ensigns and lieutenants, making her the commanding officer by default, and she hadn't been happy to know that either. However after 5 days she had gotten used to them all, and they did follow their orders well. "Will you put that down." She snapped as Ensign Howe picked up the water bottle again, despite it barely being lukewarm.

"I'm cold." The ensign stated defensively, but putting the bottle back on top of the warmer. Erika shook her head, willing herself to stop snapping at the junior officers and just let them get on with what they were doing.

"Well go sit by the fire then." She suggested, and was glad to hear her voice sounded far calmer. She felt Veronica's eyes on her, but tried purposefully not to look to her friend as Howe stood up.

"Yes Commander." Howe muttered as she moved off toward the fire in the front part of the cottage.

The downside of Howe leaving was that Erika was left all but alone with Veronica in the corner of the cabin, out of earshot of almost everyone else. She heard the slight clicking of Veronica's tongue against the roof of her mouth as Erika turned back. "Somebody's in a bad mood today."

"I'm fine." She heard the snap in her own voice, and took a moment again to take a deep breath, she knew exactly why she was so snappy, she hadn't wanted to take this trip and she had things to do at the project. "I just want to go home."

"We're only here another two days." Veronica pointed out, and Erika knew that she was trying to prove that things weren't as bad as Erika was possibly making them out to be.

"We've already been here five. Not that the scenery isn't beautiful." She did appreciate the scenery, it was one of the most beautiful places she'd ever been, but she preferred it in the summer, as it had been the last time she'd climbed it.

"Never climbed Ben Nevis before?"

"Not in November."

"True, hey you volunteered for this." Veronica once again pointed out that this was mostly her choice. She could have done a couple of other missions, but neither would have been in time.

"My survival licence was up in March, and I didn't fancy doing Death Valley again."

Veronica smirked, and it was clear that she thought Erika's annoyance at this was something amusing. Erika wasn't entirely sure what that could be, until Veronica spoke again. "You're the ranking officer here, everyone has to listen to you."

"That doesn't mean they do though." She muttered, they had followed orders by and large, and they hadn't lost anyone on the climb up to the staging point.

"So, why are you so desperate to get home?" Veronica asked, dropping her voice even further, clearly turning the conversation do something more personal, and Erika was glad that at least one person on this mission got her.

"I just miss it, I miss my own bed, I miss pyjamas, I miss-" She trailed off, wondering how she could word everything else that she missed without sounding completely pathetic. She apparently left the pause too long as Veronica took her hand with a gentle smile.

"You miss Jon."

"Well. I wasn't going to say it quite that bluntly, but yeah, I miss Jon." She smiled a little, glad to at least have it out there, and it was true, she missed Jon, but she missed so much more than just him.

Veronica studied her for a minute before resting her chin on her hand. "How are things going with you two, it's been a while now?"

"18 months." She smiled, remembering back. It was hard for her to believe sometimes, and from the look on Veronica's face she didn't believe it had been quite that long either.

"Shit, really. It doesn't feel that long."

Erika nodded, still smiling, but more thoughtful. She held out hope, still, that she was just over-thinking things, and really what was on her mind was just that, on her mind. "We're beginning to hit the first few roadblocks. He takes things so seriously all the time, and he doesn't seem to realise that not everything is going to blow up in his face if he just takes a while to enjoy himself." She shook her head after realising that she'd said everything that was bugging her out loud. Veronica took on a thoughtful look, clearly weighing what Erika had said, and now that it was out it wasn't like she could tell her friend to forget it, because it would play on Veronica's mind more than it did on hers.

"He's a commander, bucking for a captaincy. He's going to be serious."

She shook her head, trying to think of the right words for the problem, if it was just at work it probably wouldn't bother her, but it wasn't, and it did bother her. "It's not just at work though, sometimes at home too. I mean we haven't spent a night apart in 3 months aside from for missions, and every night he acts like it's going to be taken away from him."

"He told me once his longest relationship has been 18 months, maybe that's a big part of why. He's afraid to lose you." Veronica's words made complete sense as she let them sink in. Jon had never really been in a committed relationship, and when he was it hadn't ever lasted long, if this was his worry, it wasn't surprising.

"I never thought of it that way." She admitted, looking to Veronica, who was clearly still deep in thought.

"Maybe you two should move in together?"

"You think?" Erika asked, genuinely taken aback by the suggestion. Not because it wasn't a good one, it was actually a fantastic one, but it was something else she'd never thought about until it had been suggested.

"What better way to spend time together, and to show Jon that you're still crazy about him than asking him to move in with you."

"You know what, you're right. I think you're right, I might have to do that when I get home." She admitted, smiling. At least that would be able to solve part of her problem.

"Well, at least we've sorted that problem out. The next problem, Ensign Rosario's snoring."

"We could always just kick him til he shuts up."

"I like the way you think, Commander." Veronica grinned and moved away back toward the fire, leaving Erika in the corner of the small cabin they'd been left in about midway up the mountain, it wasn't the hardest of all survival missions, but it was enough for the refresher that she'd needed, and apparently she'd needed the time away from Jonathan to clear her head at least a little, to make things clearer in her mind. As long as she'd known him the longest relationship he'd had had been with Rebecca, and she had been a large part of the reason it came to a rather unceremonious end after 18-months. Maybe Jon was worried that something would happen this time, but she had never loved him more, and Veronica's suggestion was a good one. Maybe she could ask him to move in with her, and that might just help her prove that she wasn't going anywhere, that he was stuck with her until the end.


	29. Chapter 29

_**February 2148**_

He laid in the grass, enjoying the feel of Erika curled against his side. It wasn't the warmest of days, but it was clear and dry, and he had needed to get out of the hangar. Erika had followed him out, and while giving him a strange look when he'd laid in the grass outside she'd followed him only a minute later, and had been rested against him since. He took a deep breath, enjoying the late winter air as much as anyone did. He looked down at Erika, who was resting a padd against his stomach, intently reading whatever she had on it. He couldn't think of a more perfect time to bring up the subject that had been playing on his mind for the last few weeks. Ever since he'd moved into her place. "You know, I was thinking."

She hit a contact on the padd and out of the corner of his eye he saw the display go dark. She looked up at him a second later, a gentle smile playing on her lips. "About what?" She asked, a hint of worry in her voice.

"Us." He muttered, reaching up with his spare hand to brush the hair away from her forehead.

"Jon?" She asked, the worry getting more pronounced, he rolled over a little so he was elevated slightly over her, giving him a better angle to look at her with.

He kissed her once, gently, hoping that would settle her worry that this was going to be a negative conversation, he hoped it wouldn't be, he wanted to get his feelings out in the open though, and he hoped that this would do it."Seriously. We live together, we love each other, but we've not had a serious discussion about the future yet. Not once."

She stayed beneath him only a second longer before sitting up and looking down at him, it was obvious from the look on her face that maybe she wasn't ready for this conversation, but he knew it needed to happen. Now or never. "You already know what I thought Jon, I told you years ago."

"I hoped things might have changed since then." He whispered, propping himself up on his elbow, keeping his eyes on hers, trying not to break the eye contact they had built up.

"Like?"

He thought to everything she'd said over the years, particularly the day they'd sat outside their apartment building, the first year on the project, watching the children play on the park across the street. "You said back then you couldn't see yourself settling down with anyone."

This time her face split into a grin, and it seemed that with that she seemed to warm to the conversation considerably. "Well that's definitely changed, otherwise I wouldn't be here, would I?" The small laugh she gave made him smile, but it also made him realise that when it came to them, he had no idea what she was thinking.

"I don't know, half the time I have no idea what you want."

Her face fell, and she gently shook her head, reaching out to stroke his cheek. "Jonathan, I want you."

"Remember when we spoke, all those years ago." He prompted again, hoping that she'd understand exactly what he meant. He needed to get this out, and he wasn't exactly sure why.

"We've spoken a lot since then Jon." She sighed, but he thought he could tell she was stalling, he reached out for her hand, threading his fingers between hers and pulling her closer so that the conversation would be more private, not that there was anyone around them.

"I told you that I wanted a family one day, but that I hadn't found that right woman."

She nodded gently, a look of recognition on her face now. He hoped that he could convince her this time that he was worth taking a chance on, but before he could speak she began. "I remember, I think I told you that I'd all but given up hope of having a family, and that I'm annoying." She delivered the last with a smile, but he knew that she genuinely thought she was annoying, it was something he had to try and talk her out of regularly.

He shook his head at that, smiling. "I still don't think you're annoying, but I do think I've found the woman I'd want a family with."

"Jonathan-" She started, sitting up quickly, but he reached up and put a finger on her lips. Just looking at her for a second while he gathered his thoughts. He wanted the perfect words to convince her that he really wanted to go for this.

"Don't say no outright. I have been in love with you as long as I've known you, even if I denied it for a long time, too long really. I have never seriously thought about marrying someone or having children with them before. I've never laid next to a woman and imagined what our children would look like. But I do now, with you."

She shook her head, but he saw something stir behind her eyes, he needed to hope that was her coming around to his way of thinking. "I've never seriously thought about children, Jon, not with anyone. But I have imagined what our baby would look like, if we had one. Your hair, my eyes."

"I'm not saying that it wouldn't be hard, and that we'd wouldn't have to change our goals, but I'd love children, Rike, and I want them with you. I'm not saying we need to start really actively trying, but maybe just let nature take over, then if it's meant to happen, it will happen."

"Jon, I-" He shook his head, stopping her again. Hoping beyond hope that she would accept it.

"Please, Rike. Take this chance with me?" He almost begged, sitting up so that he was on a level with her. Willing her to agree. He hadn't realised how much he'd wanted this until he'd told her that he wanted it. He loved her, and he wanted nothing more than to take this leap.

"OK." She smiled, and he pulled her back down to him again, kissing her as hard as he could. Unable to believe that she had actually agreed with him, she had actually agreed to try starting a family with him. He hadn't wanted to push her if she'd been against it, but she had never been completely against children, she'd just thought nobody would love her enough to want them. He would spend every day of the rest of his life proving to her that he loved her more than anything else. He would give up everything for her, and he hoped that she knew.


	30. Chapter 30

_**August 2148**_

The pilots filed into the room and Erika found herself watching them. In the 8 years since the beginning of the project so much had changed, not just between them as people, but in the world. She remembered the first day they were all brought in here, lieutenants, the best in their fields. Now they were all commanders, and while still being the best in their fields, they were also specialists, and that brought its own issues. She didn't have too much time to think about it though, as Admiral Forrest followed them into the room, drawing their attention to the fact she'd been stood in the shadows the whole time. "Commander Hernandez." Forrest nodded in her direction, and she smiled back while the pilots continued talking loudly about whatever test they'd been pulled off. "Hey hey, settle down." Forrest shouted, already annoyed quite clearly by the lack of control they were displaying.

"What's this about sir?" AG said as they finally stood by their seats, all looking forward toward Forrest, occasionally eyes darting to her. The only one who seemed to focus on her was Jonathan, and she shook her head, nodding in Forrest's direction.

"Sit down, shut up, and I'll tell you." The pilots all seemed chastened enough to slide into the seats around the briefing room. Erika shook her head, already knowing what was going to be said, and wondering how the reactions were going to vary. "As you know, we broke ground on the first ship to be powered by our engine."

"The NX-01, yes sir." Duvall called from the back of the room. As usual being at the back of the group. Once she had thought this was because he was shy, she had learnt since that it was really because he could cause more havoc at the back.

"The front-runners for her captaincy are in this room." Forrest announced, and while all the pilots began smiling, Gardner pulled a face and turned toward her.

"I bet it's Erika." He grinned, nodding, and she could tell he was being genuine.

"No, I'm not even in contention." She held her hands up with a grin, she knew that for a fact, and was happy enough with it. Right now she had enough reasons to stay on Earth.

"So, if the front runner is in this room. When can we expect an announcement?" Jonathan finally spoke up, and she could see the wheels turning in his mind, she wondered what he was thinking.

"We're still pretty far away from actually announcing the captaincy. The ship doesn't even have a name yet." Forrest smiled and patted each of the commanders on the shoulder as he headed back toward the door. "Command thought it be best that you all knew that you could be in the running for the captaincy."

"Thank you sir." Gardner shouted after Forrest, and almost immediately the four pilots turned to each other, excited chatter breaking out straight away. She headed over to them, somewhat eager to at least hear this conversation, if not participate.

"Who do you think?" AG asked, and everyone looked to Jonathan, who shrugged and pulled Erika into his side, she smiled at the gesture and rested an arm on his shoulder as he held her. He seemed to consider the question for a few minutes then shook his head.

"I don't really care."

Duvall gave him a confused look, clearly asking the same question that was running through Erika's mind. After a second of open-mouthed gaping he seemed to find his voice. "Jon, come on, you have to be curious?"

"Not really, Starfleet will pick who they think is best." He continued, and she understood the logic in his words, and also understood that really, he was trying not to get his hopes up.

"He's only saying this because he has the advantage of being the chief pilot." AG laughed a second later, but it was clear that Sam had seen something in Jon's face.

"Jon do you even want it?"

Jonathan shook his head with a laugh, and she felt his hand tighten a little on her hip. "Of course I want it, we all want it. Even E wants it, but she's better at hiding things from you guys. Only one of us can be the first captain, and really there is nothing that we can do to influence the decision."

AG agreed with a nod, and that all but ended the conversation. "You're right, of course." He finished, and they all stood up moving toward the door.

She remembered the beginning of the project again suddenly, and a thought occurred to her. "Plus, if you lot start fighting and being competitive again, I'll have to hurt you all."

Sam laughed as he opened the door, but she could still hear his comment to AG."That is more terrifying than anything Starfleet could ever say to us."

"How do you cope with her Jon?" Duvall asked as he passed Jon on the way to the door.

As soon as they were alone Jon's face became thoughtful, and he stepped away, clearly thinking of something, she wasn't sure what. He turned back to her as he got toward the front, and she could tell he'd picked up on something. "Why aren't you in contention, you're a commander, you've been on the project since the beginning?"

"I asked not to be. I'm not ready to take command, and if things go the way we hope I won't be in any position too." She smiled, reminding him of the other commitment they'd made. Nothing much had happened after six months, but they were both beginning to hope something would, and the idea had even began to make her excited, something she hadn't really expected.

"This isn't going to convince you to stop trying then?"

"Why would it?" She asked, confused by his question. She had known this was a possibility when they had begun trying, and it wasn't necessarily a big deal, or at least she hadn't thought it was.

"Because, I do want that ship."

"I know, and I will hope you get it, you're the one that deserves it most. So-" She trailed off and shrugged, giving him a gentle kiss as she did. "Either way, we'll have a family to be proud of."

"Thanks Rike."

"Always, haven't you got a test to do?" She asked, nodding after the other three who were clearly looking back toward the office from the command centre. The windows in every room didn't help them keep a discussion private, and this probably should have waited til they got home.

"Aren't you running it?"

"No, Aaron's taking the Comms, Veronica and I are doing my annual update."

"I'll see you tonight?" He asked with a smile, and it was obvious what he was really asking.

"Definitely. I have plans." She accepted his kiss, her mind already ticking over.

"Can't wait." He grinned as he turned away, and she sagged back against the desk. She knew that Jonathan was one of the two favourites for the command, and while she had been honest, it wasn't going to change her mind about starting a family with him, if that happened, it did worry her that she might be left to raise the baby alone if Jonathan was selected for the ship. But she hoped it was him as well, because it was his life's dream. She was so completely torn, and it wasn't a feeling she was especially comfortable with.


	31. Chapter 31

**Only 4 more chapters to go on this story after this one!**

_**November 2148**_

Erika shook her head again, trying to focus on the food in front of her. A shopping trip had seemed like a great idea to take her mind off the fact the Jonathan was off doing his survival training and she'd spent the last two nights on her own, something she was less than accustomed to doing. She was jolted back to reality by the snappy comment from her shopping companion. "What are you doing?"

"What do you mean?" She asked, trying to feign ignorance, almost certain that it was too late, and Veronica had already cottoned on to what was on Erika's mind, and that wasn't always the easiest thing to try and figure out.

"I saw you!" Veronica exclaimed, drawing the eyes of a few around her, their Starfleet jackets making them less than inconspicuous at the best of times, when Veronica was drawing attention to them, she could see the eyes following her.

"Doing what?" She snapped a little, leaning forward so as to remind Veronica they were still in public.

Veronica however stayed sat back, studying her. "You've been baby watching all day, what's going on?" She stated, and Erika felt the blush begin to rise up her cheeks even as she thought up a defence, instead deciding that as the superior officer she didn't really have to give a reason.

"Nothing."

Veronica's face didn't change at all, and instead of dropping the subject it was obvious that her reticence had triggered Veronica's nosiness. "Has anyone ever told you that you're an awful liar, come on. What's going on?" She asked again, and Erika fought the urge to roll her eyes and groan, only partially successfully.

"Ron. Drop it." She almost begged, and suddenly something seemed to occur to Veronica, not entirely surprising Erika, the lieutenant had always been quick to figure things out, and that was something that had served her well on the floor during missions.

"Wait are you pregnant?" Veronica's eyes went wide, clearly surprised. Erika shook her head, and wondered if her disappointment was something obvious. Veronica reach out and put a hand over hers, suddenly looking a little more sympathetic. "Are you and Jon trying though?"

Erika nodded, and thought for a moment, they had made the decision to start trying last February, almost a year ago. It didn't feel like it had been that long, and in her mind she'd always thought if it was going to happen it would have done by now. "We have been for almost a year now."

"And you didn't tell me?!" Veronica exclaimed, again calling the attention of others, Erika smiled at a few of the people around them and glared at Veronica, who seemed to get the message that she was to try to stay quiet.

As it was, Erika had no real reason for why she hadn't told Veronica. She and Jon had made the decision not to tell most people because they were work friends, no matter how close they had gotten, outside of things to do with the project, most of them didn't interact. Unlike she and Veronica, who spent quite a lot of time together. Erika wondered for a moment if Jon had told AG, and then made the decision she didn't want to know either way. "I thought you'd have figured it out when I stopped drinking." She said, honestly. She had thought that would be a point.

"I didn't even notice." Veronica admitted, and the little look on her face made it quite obvious that she felt a little guilty for that.

"Nobody did." Erika shook her head, trying to ease her friend's guilt.

"He knows you're trying right?"

"Of course he does. It was his idea." Erika smiled, remembering his impassioned plea to her about how he had waited to find the right person to have children with, and how he only wanted them with her. She hadn't believed him at first, and had reminded him that she hadn't wanted children, she'd given up on having them at a young age because she was more dedicated to her job.

"Really?"

"I didn't want kids, I really didn't, not until he talked me into it, and now I can't seem to get my mind off them." She smiled again, shaking her head in Veronica's direction. "There is nothing I want more than to have a family with Jonathan, at least, nothing right now."

"Even if you were offered the NX-01?" Veronica posed, and that was something that she hadn't thought of, mostly because she knew it wasn't possible. But if it were, would she take it. She didn't know.

"That I don't know." She shook her head knowing that wasn't in the cards for her, though Forrest had said that she was probably in contention for the NX-02, regardless. That was a fact she wanted to keep to herself though.

"My mum said that was how she knew she was pregnant. She couldn't decide if she wanted her long term plans more. Boom. 9 months later a baby Veronica popped out. She hated me though so she's probably not the best example."

"I'm not pregnant." She knew that, for certain. It was a hard truth to have to admit too, but she wasn't and she couldn't help but think that maybe the universe was trying to tell her that it wasn't the right time for her and Jonathan, or maybe they just weren't destined to be parents.

"Are you sure?" Veronica asked, and Erika just looked up to her friend and frowned.

"I'm not pregnant, Ron."

Veronica seemed to understand what she was saying, and instead made a joke out of it, as she almost always did when something uncomfortable was happening. "You keep telling yourself that, I won't be catching it when you go into labour on the toilet."

Erika couldn't help but smirk at that. "I think I'd know before it got to that state." She laughed and followed Veronica's lead as they stood up and went to pay for their lunch.

Veronica though stopped after a few seconds and looked down at her, giving Erika the most uncomfortable sensation. "So why didn't you tell anyone?"

Erika stopped as well and really thought about the question, then wondered if she should be honest with Veronica about their reasons, finally she decided that it would be best. "Because everyone on this damn project knows way too much about our personal lives." She frowned as Veronica handed over a credit chip then pushed Erika out of the shop, motioning to her to keep going. "We wanted this for us, just for us. If and when it happened we'd have told people, but as it is we just didn't want to draw any attention to it."

"Fine, I'll keep it on the down low." Veronica said after a few seconds, and all Erika could do was smile, hoping that would be the end of the discussion.

"Thanks"

"Can I be a godparent?" Veronica teased, making it painfully obvious that she had a contingency plan for winding Erika up now.

"I hate you." She muttered before looking away.

"I know, can I?" Veronica persisted, laughing as they headed in the direction of the next store they wanted to look around. It had never been an easy decision for Erika to hold anything back from their friends, but she was sure she'd done it for the right reasons. Jon had made sure that she knew she was the one who mattered to him, and that he didn't want gossip around the workplace to get in the way of what they were working toward.


	32. Chapter 32

**Sorry. My muse is evil.**

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_**February 2149**_

He followed her along the path, not entirely sure where she was going, but he knew that whatever had been bothering her all day was something he needed to find out. When she slid onto a bench in the park near the project headquarters he stopped, approaching her quietly, but when she said nothing he sat beside her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "You've seemed quiet today, not impressed?"

Erika shook her head and looked at him, still clearly a million miles away from this bench, and even from this city. After a few more seconds she looked at him and bit her lip. "I was very impressed, she's going to be a beautiful ship." She answered, but he could sense the hesitation in what she was saying. He wondered if the new ship was what was playing on her mind or if it was something else. He knew that he should just ask her, rather than worrying about her from a distance.

"Rike, what's wrong?"

She took a deep breath, and he saw the worry spike in her eyes. Obviously whatever was worrying her was serious, but he didn't know what it could be. "Jon, I'm spotting."

"What?" He looked at her confused, not sure what she meant, it wasn't something she commonly said to him, and he wasn't sure if he was supposed to know what it meant.

She looked at him with a mixture of annoyance and worry that made him realise this wasn't something she was telling him for no reason. "It started while we were at the shipyard, I got some cramping and now I'm spotting."

"Right?" He prompted, still not entirely sure what she was saying.

"I have a doctor's appointment-" He suddenly picked up on what she meant, she thought she was pregnant, and that something had gone wrong. Or at least that was what jumped out at him from the half answers she'd given him.

"Do you want me to come?" He asked, already knowing what her answer was going to be.

"Please." She almost sobbed, and he pulled her against him for a moment, kissing the top of her head as she took a minute to compose herself again.

"What do you think is wrong?" He asked, he'd already figured out, but he wanted to know that was actually what she was thinking, that it wasn't just some errant worry he had. Her face took on the look he'd dubbed her 'command' look. It was the look that crossed her face when she needed to tell someone something unpleasant. He'd never expected to be on the receiving end of that look.

"Judging by the internet, I'm probably having a miscarriage."

"I didn't think you were?" He didn't want to say it, just in case it wasn't true, or worse, that it was true. He wasn't sure what would be worse right now.

"I didn't either, come on." She stood up and inclined her head in the direction of the medical centre. They both walked in silence, absorbed in their own thoughts. Jon slid his hand into hers, hoping that she was wrong. They had been trying so hard, for so long. This was everything he wanted, everything they had wanted. Erika seemed as lost in her thoughts as he was. All he could think about was how unfair this would be. Even into the centre Erika kept hold of his hand, squeezing it tightly as he made the move to step away and give her a little privacy. They sat and looked around the waiting room, the happy families that were there causing him to take a breath, one that felt like a dagger.

He was jolted from his thoughts by her name being called. They looked at one another, he followed her into the room, listening to Erika explaining what had happened, still feeling her hand holding his tightly. He didn't focus on the details, not entirely certain that he wanted to know them regardless.

"Have you been actively trying?" Was the first question he was aware of, and when it seemed Erika couldn't answer, probably because of the information he'd zoned out on, he looked up, ready to take it instead.

"For a year."

"The sample test you gave confirms you are pregnant, we'll doing a quick scan and see what's happening." He tried to give her an encouraging smile, but he could tell that she was terrified, obviously worried about what was happening, they both looked to the screen, but nothing seemed to happen, nothing seemed to change, after a few minutes the doctor looked between the two of them and shook his head gently. "I'm sorry, commanders, there isn't a heartbeat."

"So, I'm not pregnant?" Erika asked, her voice taking on a hardened tone, one that Jon could tell was shaking beneath it. She knew what they were being told, but they needed to hear the words, just to make the nightmare complete.

"You were, but you've miscarried, I'm so sorry."

She sat up, and it only took til the doctor had left the room for his emotions to show. "Jon?" She muttered a second later, and as soon as he turned to her he saw the sadness and pain in her eyes.

"It's OK." He muttered into her hair as she threw her arms around him. "We'll be OK." He held her as tightly as he could, feeling her tears fall as he did.

"Can we go home?" She whispered into his ear, not letting him go. He tightened his grip around her, as terrified of letting her go as she seemed to be about him leaving. After a few seconds she muttered in his ear again, the sadness obvious in her words. "I love you, you know that right?"

"Of course I do." He pulled back enough to see her face, then leaned in to kiss her. Hoping to get everything into that tiny action.

"Let's deal with it all tomorrow, right now, I just want to go home." He wiped her eyes as he helped her off the bed, her pain making everything harder for him to consider. He wanted to hold her tighter, but tonight was going to be a night of remembrance for them, thinking about the baby they were almost gifted with. He couldn't believe they had gotten this close and had it torn away from them. He felt cheated, but most of all he felt angry for Erika, she had been so afraid of becoming a mother, and just as she grew to like the idea it was torn from her. He knew she would be a wonderful mother, when it happen.

The universe seemed to be laughing at him, putting everything he wanted in reach then tearing it away from him. He couldn't focus on himself though, he needed to worry about Erika. For him the baby was an idea, a dream, for her this was physical, something that was happening within her body, and he had to focus on that.


	33. Chapter 33

_**April 2149**_

She took a deep breath, still feeling the effects of the last hour of activity she'd been engaged in. His arms got tighter around her as he settled into their usual position, in all the time they'd been together they'd fallen asleep in the same position, but there were things she needed to get off her chest, and maybe today was the best time for her to do that. When he was calm and content, and would actually listen to what she was saying. "Jon?"

"Yeah?" He whispered, right next to her ear. She rolled over so she was laying on her back, turning her head to face him through the dark.

"Can we talk about something?"

"About what?" He asked, wrapping his fingers around hers. She squeezed his hand, glad that he'd instigated that little piece of contact, something additional for her to hold onto while she thought about how to phrase her thoughts.

"About us, about where we're going."

"Are you breaking up with me?" He asked, and she saw the fear and worry in his eyes. She leant up and kissed him gently, before shaking her head, thinking that his mind always jumped to the worst case scenario.

"No, why would you think that?"

He kissed her again and looked down at her from where he propped himself up on his elbows. "I don't know, bringing up serious conversations at this time of night when we've just done what we've done makes me insecure, I guess."

She had to smile at that. It was at least something that he recognised, and she knew that the light teasing would help. "Bringing serious topics up makes you insecure whenever I bring them up."

"OK, you win there." He laughed and kissed her hand before looking at her again.

"I just wanted to see if we were on the same page, with stopping trying for a baby?" They had seemed to agree without words that they were done with trying. The miscarriage a few weeks earlier had been so hard for her, for them both, and she wasn't certain she could go through that again. Even after being told that she was unlikely to suffer the same problems again, she didn't want to risk it, and she had become even more focused on her career since. It wasn't only her career that she thought about, it was his as well.

"I think so. Erika, having a family with you would be the most incredible thing for me, but I know that it's just not the right time for us." He shook his head, and she could see the tears that were building in his eyes, she reached up and wiped them before he continued speaking. "I think we had that proven to us."

"I didn't think I wanted a family until we were being told that we were losing the first sign that maybe we could have it. Now, I'm not sure if I want one." It was one of the hardest truths she'd ever had to say. She loved Jonathan, and she would have loved their child, but she wasn't ready now, she knew that, and with the way their careers looked to be going, she might not be ready for a very long time.

He nodded a little, holding her hand tighter, and she hoped that he was as relieved that they'd verbalised those thoughts as she was. There was a time for a conversation change, she knew that, and this time, she wanted to try and raise his hopes. "Jon, you know I spoke to Forrest yesterday?"

"Yes?"

She smiled, moving slightly further under him, wanting a little more contact. "He said you're the favourite to get the NX-01."

"Really?" He grinned, and she could almost feel the excitement that he was feeling, it was as if it was coming off him in waves.

She kept smiling, but maybe the next point she wanted to bring up was going to make it even harder for them to continue this conversation. "Yeah. If you do get it, I don't want you to be thinking about me."

"What do you mean?" He gave her a funny look, one that she couldn't quite read.

"If you get offered that ship, you need to promise me that you'll take it."

His face fell, but she wanted him to know that wasn't the end of the world, no matter what would happen to the two of them. "You know that would mean I'm your superior again?"

"I know, I've always known that. But you have wanted this ship your entire life, it means so much to you, and it would make me so proud to know you're the first one out there." She smiled, meaning it completely. Nothing would make her prouder than to be able to say that the man she loved, the man who loved her, was out exploring the universe. Seeing things that most people would never see. There were downsides, but the upside was bigger than them. "I know it would mean the end of us, at least for now, but we always said that when the time was right, we'd know it."

"You think the time isn't right?"

"That's not what I'm saying, I'm just saying that this time, maybe, we should focus on our careers. Duty before love. Wasn't that what you said to me." She looked at him as she saw the same realisation she'd had cross his mind. There were so many things that could end them, but they'd had an amazing time.

"I'll make this promise on one condition."

"Name it?" She nodded, taken by surprise when he leant down and kissed her hard before he spoke again.

"When you get your command, and we're the same rank again, I'm going to take you out, and that time I won't be letting you go, no matter what happens."

"I can deal with that."

"And this still isn't a break-up?" He grinned, and she heard the teasing tone in his voice, he knew it wasn't, but she had to play along, at least for a minute. So she said the most ridiculous thing that came into her mind in response.

"No. This is contingency planning."

"Contingency planning?" He laughed and rolled over on top of her. She'd felt the distance growing over the last few weeks, but now there was an agreement, there was something between them that told her no matter what she wasn't going to lose him completely. Whatever happened over the next few months was going to be more painful than she could imagine, but she also knew that it was going to be worth it in the end. She returned Jon's kisses, feeling his hand as it slid down her body. She had always been good at putting others before herself, and this time she hoped it would be the last time she needed too. She knew he was going to get the ship unless something along the line royally screwed up, and she was happy for him, because that was what they both wanted.


	34. Chapter 34

**This is the penultimate chapter of the story. Eventually, when I have time and inspiration, I will write the missing scenes that Nebula is demanding.**

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_**September 2149**_

"Rike, you home?" She heard bellowed up the stairs as soon as the door to the building opened. She left their front door open for that exact reason, he had a habit of shouting her as soon as he was through the door, and after all the time they'd spent together it was unsurprising, really.

"I'm in the kitchen." She shouted back, ignoring the broom on the ceiling from their downstairs neighbour. She was far too used to the ebb and flow of such things in this apartment, and knowing that things were going to change soon wasn't enough to convince her to enjoy it.

She was still cleaning the sink when he made it into the kitchen. She felt him stand behind her, pulling her tight against him and kissing her neck as he did. "Hey there."

She turned in his arms with a smile on her face. "Well, you're in quite a mood today."

"I don't have long left where I can do this." He muttered, and she found his choice of words odd. She gave him a quizzical look, and wondered if he was being purposefully annoying. Just to get under her skin as he did so often.

"Do what?"

"This."

"Are you dying?" She asked, wondered for a moment before shaking that off. He shook his head and kissed her again, the smiled growing on his face. "Well then, I'm confused."

"Remember how you mentioned about the NX-01?"

"It's kind of hard to forget." She grinned at that, she hadn't known they were ready to make a decision yet, but she had a feeling if Jonathan was bringing it up it only meant good things for him. Maybe not necessarily good for them, but very good for him.

"They make the official announcement in a few weeks, but Forrest came to me today. I got her." His grin grew, and she knew it was all his Christmases at once.

"Really?" She laughed, wrapping her arms around him in a hug as she did. "I'm so proud of you."

"We need to celebrate." He whispered before taking a step away and pulling a bottle out of his bag. She laughed at his excitement, and wondered if she should follow up his news with some of her own. She was still thinking that over as Jon's head popped around the doorway again. "Come on Erika, celebrate with me."

She followed him through to the living room, finally kicking the front door closed. "I got an interesting message today too." She started, watching his still grinning face as it popped up over the rim of the bag he was searching through.

"Oh really?"

She shrugged a little, sitting down next to him and pulling the PADD he was looking for out of his pocket and handing it to him. "The Republic is looking for a new first officer."

"They are?"

"Apparently. Captain Jennings wants me." At the look Jonathan gave her, she knew she'd need to continue. "They all know the NX project is coming to an end and we're all looking for new assignments."

"Are you going to take it?" He asked, clearly as excited about her news as she was about his. In other words, not very.

"I'm thinking about it. More so now." She admitted the last a little bitterly, only because she knew that either way now she was going to lose something she wanted to gain something else. It was always a trade off for them.

"Why more?"

"Jon, you're going to be a Captain once they make the official announcement. We already talked about what that would mean for us." She remembered the conversation a few months ago vividly still, and as his face fell a little it was obvious that he felt it too.

"That's still weeks away." He pointed out, and that was their one hope, they still had a few weeks together, and she would be making them count.

"I know, and the Republic is out at Deneva, they are a few weeks from home."

"You should take it. We have an expiry date now, don't we?"

"I think we always did." She admitted as his arms wrapped around her. Holding him tightly to her as she fought to keep her emotions in check.

"I love you, you know that right?" He muttered after a few minutes.

"I do, and nothing will change that, just like nothing is going to change my feelings either." She pulled back a little, opening a little space before leaning forward to kiss him again. Gently at first, but the longer they sat there the deeper the kiss got until she had to break for breath.

"The mission comes first." He stated. The same old reason they'd given each other for years was the same reason they were using now, but it was a good reason, she knew that. They were slaves of duty, and they had dedicated their lives to it.

"Hasn't it always?" She asked, and she couldn't help but smile as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her away from the sofa. Kissing her as hard as he could. She held him tightly, not sure she was actually going to be strong enough to end this now, or would she keep it going until they had no other choice. She wasn't sure, but she knew that he made her feel like nothing mattered outside of the two of them. She loved him and maybe, just maybe, taking the Republic was the best thing she could do for both of them.

She was, genuinely, proud of Jonathan for getting his first command, for taking over the ship and being the first real space explorer from Earth, but she also worried about them. She loved him and she was genuinely afraid of being without him, she'd seen him almost every day for more than a decade, but it was getting to the point where the two of them needed to move on, even if it meant losing something important, each other.


	35. Chapter 35

**So, this is the last chapter of this story (I know, I'm sad too.) But from tomorrow I will be posting the eagerly anticipated first story of "The Romulan War Stories" - It follows directly on from my story "Location: Unknown" and follows our favourite characters through the Romulan War. Hope to see you guys there. Shin xx**

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_**December 2149**_

He hovered on the open doorstep, watching her cram the last few things into her duffel. He hadn't seen her in the last month, since their mutual and amicable break up, but what he saw here made him worried about her, and it took all he had not to just pull her in to him. "I thought you wouldn't mind a visit." He said, drawing his presence to her attention. Maybe a month ago she wouldn't have minded him standing watching her, but he was fairly sure that now it would be crossing an unspoken line.

"I'm packing, Jon." She muttered, and he wondered if she was annoyed at her packing, or at him for showing up.

"I know, I still have to go do all mine too, but I wanted to speak to you first." He tried to sound nonchalant, as if this was the most common thing in the world, to be determined to speak to your recent ex before you left one another forever.

"What is there left to say?" She replied, and this time there was no denying the bitterness and pain in her voice. He took a few steps forward, and as always she stood her ground, he was within touching distance from her, but he held himself in check. Not wanting to break any boundary.

In this moment though, he would beg her to just speak to him as she had every day for 10 years. "Erika, please. We were friends before we were anything else, and I don't want to lose that."

The anger faded from her face, and he saw now that she had been trying to use her anger to mask her pain, their break-up had devastated them both, even though they'd made it for the right reasons. She shuffled forward a tiny bit, reaching out and stroking his cheek in an affectionate way. "You haven't, Jon. I just need some space to get over you, get over us. There was so much we had going for us. There was so much for us to think about." She dropped her hand, and he knew what was going to be on her mind. The tiny life they had created and had been torn away from them. The baby would have been due any day now. That had been the thing that had changed their relationship, but it hadn't ended them, and they had built something stronger from the ashes of the tragedy. After a few minutes of silence, Erika looked back up and met his eyes, her eyes full of pain. The tears welling up in them. "You know I still love you, don't you?" She whispered, reaching up and wiping her eyes with her hand.

"I love you too, Rike, I always have." He replied, honestly, he had always loved her, but had denied it or claimed it to be platonic for as long as he could, because he had been uncomfortable with his own feelings.

"What?"

"Since the day we met." He clarified, this was the time for him to tell the truth about how he felt, and how that would affect what they were now, "and the last 4 years have been the best of my life, even when the bad things have happened I've had you to share them with. I've had you stood beside me telling me that you'll be here no matter what I do wrong." He hated that she was leaving, he hated that his promotion had torn them apart, he hated that this was probably the end of the line for them, even though they were still in love with one another.

"Jon. I'll still be there for you. I'll just be the other end of a comm line."

"I don't know what I'm going to do without you." He whispered, and felt his own tears welling up.

He watched as her first tears fell, and he had to fight himself for what to do. "You'll be fine. Jon I have missed you so much this month, even though I've seen you every day. I used to come home and see your face and I knew that everything was going to be OK, that no matter what we could fix it together. Instead this last month I've been coming home to an empty apartment and I've hated it, I've hated every moment because I got so used to being around you and now, I'm leaving because I need the space-" He couldn't take any more and pulled her into him, wiping her tears away as he did before he ran his hands along her cheeks and kissed her. It was supposed to be nothing, just a promise, but the minute he was actually kissing her, he knew he wouldn't be able to let her go.

Her arms slid around his neck, and her hand found it's familiar position in his hair, they had mastered the way the other liked everything, and that familiarity was what they had both needed, closure wasn't going to be possible in the same city, because he knew he'd just want to come and do this every night, regardless of their positions. He would want to hold her, and to tell her that everything was fine. As he pushed her back toward the wall, their favourite place in her apartment, the first place they had done anything had been against that wall, and it would be poetic justice if it was the last place. He could still feel the tears rolling down her cheeks, and he was certain his own were joining them. Never had saying goodbye to someone been such an experience, but he didn't know how to stop now. He lifted her into his arms, holding her tight to him, allowing the world around him to slide away, all that was left was the two of them.

That was until a cough came from the open doorway, and they broke apart, he felt her resistance as they did. Neither of them had wanted to end that, but he knew that noise, and he was sure Veronica was there for a good reason. "Am I interrupting something?"

"No, no, Veronica." He heard Erika say, he lowered her back to her feet, the spell that had been promised between them broken by their friend, who looked appropriately embarrassed.

She leant over the threshold, picking up the two duffels that Erika had left by the door. "The shuttle leaves in an hour, Erika. I'll wait out front." She disappeared, and Jon turned back to Erika, who leant up again and kissed him lightly again. He regretted having to stop, but he knew she needed to go, and he needed to go back to staffing his ship. He put his forehead against hers, trying desperately not to wish this moment would last forever.

"You should go." He whispered, looking in her eyes and hating that he'd had to utter those words.

"I should." She agreed, a light nod against him, but neither of them made a move to separate at all. He reached out for her hand, pulling it through in front of them, needing to hold her, needing to tell her everything.

"I am going to miss you, so much. I have never known someone who could understand me like you can. We'll speak soon, I'm sure. You're my best friend, Erika. You have been for 10 years, and I haven't always been the best of friends to you, the best of people, but I try-"

"Jonathan, when we're both here again, we'll catch up, and maybe by then we'll be able to be more than what we are now. Maybe we'll be able to be us. Who knows, I might have my own ship by then, if Enterprise travels as far as we hope."

"Let's hold on to that hope."

"I love you." She whispered, kissing him one last time then stepping away and out of the apartment. He couldn't help but feel that, while this was an end, and of that he was almost certain, he hoped that she would be able to, at least, speak about him well. He would always love her, of that much he was sure, but whether or not they would ever get the magical future that he dreamed of was another matter entirely. There was still that thread of hope that one day they would have a chance to make something better, something brighter. So holding on to hope was all he could do now, and he would, he would.


End file.
